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night two of school trip.
"that was tiring," rian mumbled, taking off her face mask. "what, bathing?" i ask, because our free activity earlier today was to use the public bath area and go with everyone else. rian nodded and i also took off my face mask. "smells nice, right?" she asked, standing up.
before i could nod and thank her for it, my phone started ringing, and i looked at it. mr. moon. holy shit! MR. MOON IS CALLING FIRST! i jump towards my phone with all energy, it felt like it was long since we last got a talk! "are you going to accept that here?" rian asked, i was hesitating to answer anyway, because yieung and gaeun would get back anytime now from the canteen.
"i'll be back later," i told rian, dashing out of our room. i pass through yieung and gaeun at the hallway and just greet them with a smile, while they just looked at me, weirded out. i answer the call as i get to the stairs, "hey!" i greet cheerfully, out of breath.
i reach down the stairs and see yeonjun at the canteen holding his phone to his ear as well, drinking coffee. i look at him and give a smile as i keep speed-walking to the park, "hey," he replied after a short pause. and i couldn't help but smile as i walk in to the backdoor exit of the bathing area, "i thought you-"
i stop talking and walking as i reach the door. eunbin and soobin are together. i distance the phone from my ear and curse under my breath as they smile looking at each other. "you thought i quit?" i hear mr. moon finish my sentence, but i was still in shock. shit, i just lost the good mood i got into.
my heart felt like it shattered as i got nervous while watching eunbin and soobin together. this is the first time i'm seeing them, and rian wasn't lying when she said they looked like they really got along. fuck, i should get going and find a different place to hide at, or they might see me.
wait a second. i'm the one who needs to hide? at this situation? wherein i'm just being a faithful and loyal partner? "hello, yunhee?" mr. moon spoke again, but i just couldn't say anything yet. i feel like i have a million pound blanket over me right now.
tears filled up my eyes so fast that it slid down my face like waterfall, smoothly. i cover my mouth and tried my best to keep my sobbing silent. shit, i didn't know it would hurt like this when rian told me about it. i thought i'd just pretend to be okay and it would be okay- but it's not. not even one bit. not even mr. moon's presence is helping me feel a little better tonight. and i don't think anyone can help me tonight but my tears.
i hang up the call with my watery and blurry vision. i want to drink and maybe fucking pass out somewhere and die in the cold weather. i wished that rian was talking bullshit and none of this was actually true but what can i do? it's my fucking reality to keep living like this.
