11

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chapter eleven.
we are all psychopaths.

what are promises? i searched in google and the definition was: a declaration or assurance that one will do a particular thing or that a particular thing will happen

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what are promises? i searched in google and the definition was: a declaration or assurance that one will do a particular thing or that a particular thing will happen.

did soobin promise me that he wouldn't meet with eunbin anymoreㅡ yesterday?

"you need to break up with him." mr. moon's voice echoed inside my head.

i feel dizzy.

some say that promises are meant to be broken.

i keep my gaze at rian's latest text message, 'still holding on?' is what she wrote to me, and above the message is.. a picture of soobin and eunbin together taken just yesterday, after soobin promised he wouldn't meet up with that girl no more.

but if it was broken, never kept ㅡ was it even a promise to start with?

¤

"oh, he's not in class, probably he's in the art classroom," i recall seokmin's words. he's.. not with eunbin right now, isn't he? because that would be an absolute dickhead move. becauseㅡ even at school?! are you kidding me?

i checked the hallway to the art classroom and no teacher was in sight. i started walking fast towards the room, my heart beating really fast. so fast, it kind of hurt.

if i didn't know about the issue, would i have acted more harsh towards him the night i caught them? would i have the courage to speak then and there and ask for a break up immediately?

i reached the art classroom and i peeked through the door's glass pane, and i saw soobin lying on the floor in the middle of the roomㅡ staring at the ceiling with all silence.

what the fuck is he doing?

i looked deeper in the room and saw that he was all alone there, with no one around. none of his friends are there, and not even the biggest suspect, park eunbin.

i checked the hallway again to keep my safety, then i looked back to soobin, and he was still just staring at the ceiling.

why does he look so.. sad?

how fucking confusing do you think it's going to be for me if you're this unpredictable, choi soobin? one moment you're a sweet boyfriend, then a cheating jerk, then a fucking gangster, then a depressed bitch! the freaking.. fouruality! (if that even is a word).

i almost twisted the doorknob out of pure accident. i panicked as i checked if he heard it, but he was still staring at the ceiling. waitㅡ an accident? wait a second.. if he looks that sad, then how miserable would it be if i broke up with him?

"oops, wrong door." ㅡ "i promise i won't meet her," ㅡ "still holding on?" ㅡ "easier said than done."

i feel like i'm going deaf, slowly, just in my own head. i feel so.. heavy. overwhelmed. i don't think i can handle this. i don't want to keep going, i wish things would just magically stop,

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