Romeo and Juliet but Borderlands (Handsome Jack x Rhys)

Act III, Scene III

"Hey! Minion, come out!" Friar Claptrap yelled as he stumbled into his basement.

Jack creeped out of his hiding space in the basement. He was hiding behind the furnace, the best spot to hide in the otherwise bare basement. He mumbled to himself, "Holy frick, you're so annoying," he cleared his throat and began again, "What's the news? What's my punishment?"

"Wait, what punishment?" Claptrap set down a basket of herbs and started doing a little dance.

"Oh my..." Jack sighed, rubbing his temples, "My punishment for killing Vasquez, you friggin' idiot!"

Claptrap rubbed his nonexistent chin for a brief moment, trying to remember what Jack was talking about, earning displeased groans and curses from Jack. After a minute or two, Claptrap started moving around excitedly again, "Aha! Yea, you're not going to die or anything! You're just getting banished!"

"Friggin' hell! Banishment? Banishment is worse than death!" 

"From now on, you're exiled from Pandora!" Claptrap stopped dancing and began messing with his herbs, "You'll be fine, minion! There's plenty of other planets out there! Oh, wait, can I go with you?! I want to go to another planet!!"

Jack ignored Claptrap, who was now jumping up and down around him excitedly, "There's no world outside of Pandora, except hell and purgatory itself. To be banished from Pandora is to be banished from from the world. To be banished from the world is death itself. God!"

"C'mon, man! Vallory could've killed you instead! But instead we get to go to a cool new planet!" 

Jack continued to ignore him, running a hand through his hair in worry, "Heaven is here because Rhys is here! This is torture! Literally everyone else, who is not deserving of his love mind you, can see him. But I can't spend time with him, because I, Handsome friggin' Jack himself, has been banished!"

"Ok, ok, but hear me out-" 

"You're just gonna talk about me taking you to another planet, which I'm not going to do, jackhole!"

Claptrap looked down, a sad tone in his voice, "Oh, okayyyy," he slightly perked up after a beat, "Can I still give you philosophy? That's a good antidote for banishment, friend!"

"Like that'll do any good," He rolled his eyes, "Just shut up already, jackass."

If Claptrap could frown, he would've. This conversation was cut short, however, as they heard knocking at the den's door, prompting Jack to hide himself behind the furnace again. Claptrap then opened the door, seeing Moxxi standing tall in front of him.

"Let me come in, sugar. I came for Rhys."

At that, Claptrap let her in, and shut the door behind her so no passerby's could hear their conversation.

Moxxi began again, crossing her arms, "Where the hell is Jack?"

"Over there, behind the furnace," Claptrap gestured to the hiding place, "He's just been crying the whole time, like a LOSER."

That earned an angry, "Hey!" from Jack as he scrambled out of his hiding space. He stood properly on his feet, "Moxxi! How's Rhys doing? He doesn't think I'm a murderer, does he?" He ran a hand through his hair, "Where is he? What does he have to say about our ruined love?"

"Oh, he doesn't say anything, sugar," Moxxi shifted her weight to her other leg, "Just weeps and weeps.."

"This is all my fault..." Jack leaned against the wall to steady himself. 

"Yea! But at least you were exiled instead of executed! That means we can go to a cool new planet!" Claptrap started break dancing in excitement, "You're very lucky! 

In fact, I have a plan because you're so lucky! Go to him now, avoiding the watchmen, and go comfort him. Then, we can escape to a different planet where we'll explore on an epic adventure until Moxxi makes your marriage public and make peace between your two families or something. Then she'll ask Vallory to pardon you, which will totally work! And boom! I can come back as a heroic explorer and you as my faithful minion!"

"You know, that's actually not that bad of an idea," Moxxi said, "Claptrap, you should get him a ticket to Elpis. And Jack, just play it low there while we fix this."

"But can't I go?" Claptrap groaned.

Moxxi glanced at Jack, seeing the grimace on his face, and answered, "No, we need you here, you're very important for this mission."

"Of course I'm important for this mission! While Jack over here is taking a vacation at Elpis, we're gonna be doing important work! Which I'm vital for!"

Jack shot Moxxi a look of appreciation and she began again, handing Rhys's ring to him, "Here's a ring from Rhys. Asked me to give it to you. Now hurry up, it's getting late!"

Jack nodded, slipping on the ring as Moxxi left the building without another word.

Claptrap interrupted the silence, "Alright, alright, now get out of here! I have important things that I have to do while you're going on vacation!"

Jack rolled his eyes at this, but promptly left anyway, on his way to see Rhys.

(A/N): Hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter! Stay safe out there!