On the edge of everything

Part 7

The next week, as rehearsals get even more rigorous, some of the smaller scenes are touched vocally and dramatically. I am rarely home before 8 and often stay up into the wee hours of the morning to finish my homework. On the average day, I am over caffeinated, stressed about the constantly approaching college acceptances and weighed down by those crosses lining the front hall and the pictures hanging in classrooms. My tendency to overthink is exceptionally powerful amidst the stress and sadness that stifles the air.

Though it may be contributing to my stress levels given the lack of sleep and limited hours to complete my many homework assignments, the only part of the day where I don't have a ball in my stomach about something is during rehearsal, especially the times where we are working on the stage rather than in the over-crowded choir room. Though I auditioned for the music, I think that it's the acting and confidence gained from gliding seamlessly around the stage that brings me the most joy.

As a swimmer, someone accustomed to freestyling through the water while barely breathing for minutes on end, I am surprised by the difficulty of simultaneously singing and dancing. To be fair, there isn't much dancing in this show compared to when I saw Samantha in The Little Mermaid or Lacey in Thoroughly Modern Millie, and for that I am grateful. Still, the few songs that do have choreography are much more difficult than I would have imagined as a member of the audience.

Megan, Vien, Lewis, Rose and I gather on stage with Lacy, the dance teacher, to practice the one number the five of us have together. I feel like we spend more time laughing through the choreography than on the steps themselves.

"Okay, Mila and Rose: let me show you again," Macy addresses the two of us, definitely the worst dancers of the group. She shows us the moves left and right and in a circle and waves her arms in this odd maneuver she has already shown us several times.

"Ready? Five - six - seven - eight." she turns to watch us copy the moves to the timing she sets. Rose and I get the left and right and circle but I move my arms to the right instead of the left and hit Rose who was doing it correctly.

"I'm so sorry!" My hands move to cover my mouth. "Are you okay?" I press, but Rose is just laughing and it's hard not to stare at her beautifully joyful face. Megan, Vien and Lewis join in and soon I forget that they were laughing at me and my lack of dancing ability and I start to giggle as well.

"Mila, you're getting close," Macy laughs and gives me props that I don't deserve. "Shall we take it from the top?" she asks. We all nod, composing ourselves after the chaotic outburst, and move towards the part of the stage we are meant to begin the number.

We move through the song a dozen more times before the two hour rehearsal is up, and though my abilities are lacking, the others and even Rose have mastered the moves. They help me through it and by the end, I complete all the steps though I sometimes seem to be stumbling more than dancing.

"You're doing great," Vien tells me as we approach our water bottles where they rest on the edge of the stage.

"Ha!" I nearly snort out the water I'm consuming. "I'm not so sure about it, but thank you." She smiles and I see that quirky left dimple appear, widening my smile. "Are you done for the day?" I ask her.

"Nope, me and Lewis are up to Ms. Blakeley for vocals. You?" I shake my head as I finish the final gulp from my water bottle.

"Nico and I have staging in half an hour." I grab my wallet from the depths of my backpack. "I'm headed to Starbucks-- do you want anything?" She shakes her head no and I say bye before leaving the auditorium for my brief respite where I long for tea and a croissant.