On the edge of everything

Part 19

Two days later is our last day of high school. Ever. It is yet another day that I was so desperate to arrive, but now feels so final. The end is really here; we are experiencing our last moments at SC and I have become more and more hesitant to leave the safety and comfortability of this one brick building in the middle of downtown Portland. Nevertheless, this is it. Everywhere I go today, every place I sit, it will be the last. We will never again be together in this building. This is it.

My outfit has been sitting on top of my dressers for days. The red shirt, summery blue shorts, and several red ribbons to show off just how much of a senior I am.

I am ready to go by 7 even though Lacey agreed to drive me and we don't have to leave for another half hour. She is still asleep when I burst into her room, not caring about the noise I might make. She groans and throws her pillow over her head.

"Mila! Ten more minutes." she rolls onto her stomach with her face buried into the pillow.

"Look!" I ignore her. She turns her head and opens one eye then they both open to look at what I will be wearing on my very last day of high school.

"I'd enjoy this more in ten minutes," she starts, "But I'm excited for you nonetheless." she gives me a thumbs up then closes her eyes again as I energetically exit the room with a wide smile.

"Take so many pictures!" Lacey reminds me from the car as I open the door.

"Of course," I reply and turn towards the stairs up to the entrance. "Bye!"

"Bye!" She drives the red car around the corner and out of sight. On the steps to the school and on the benches and small courtyard in front of the doors, all I see is red. Everyone must get the classic pictures with your friends on the last day of school and my friends are not an exception. Samantha and Elena nearly attack me when I enter senior hall, throwing my bag to the ground and pulling me back outside for pictures. We pose on the steps, beside the infamous statue of Saint Catherine of Siena, sometimes smiling, sometimes laughing. Everyone is energetic and carefree and I feel the same.

We have reached this moment, a day of moments, that we will remember forever. We've seen the seniors the last three years on this day-- how they have laughed and cried and sung and hugged during senior assembly where we will end the school day and it has always felt so far in the future. But now the future is here. We are in the future and I have a feeling that I am going to feel the same way at graduation and when I head off to college in the fall. Until now life has been filled with dreaming of what will happen one day but now it's about embracing the glory of the moment we are in.

The day goes by quickly, and every class fills with memories and excitement. The teachers have short speeches prepared about the bright futures we have and how much we will be missed. It's hard to describe how elated I feel, how the atmosphere of the school has suddenly changed.

The rest of the year, starting before the first day of school with Lena and Eliza's memorial, this brick building has felt stifling, just reminders of all the memorials that have taken place in the auditorium but today feels different.

All classes are cut short and end before a late lunch; after we eat we will immediately head to the auditorium for the senior assembly.

Samantha and Elena and I sit at our table in Mr. Carter's room which is otherwise empty. Samantha plays music from her phone as we talk and eat and occasionally sit in a rare silence. We are edging ever closer to the assembly and Samantha and I haven't told Elena about our planned performance.

"Well, I guess this is it," Elena says, looking up at the clock over the door to the classroom which declares 2 minutes left until lunch is over.

I look around the room where I have spent more hours than almost anywhere else in the school and Mr. Carter smiles from behind his desk. "I'll miss having you three in here," he tells us. "You always make my days a little brighter." We look to him and smile but we hesitate before speaking.