On the edge of everything

Part 21

A couple weeks after graduation, we prepare for the camping trip late at night on a friday. None of us has started work yet; we are in the glorious land of no-commitment summer. The day after graduation I texted the people that I wanted to be there: Rose, Margot, Samantha, Jessie, Sara, Loise and Elena. They all replied within moments and Margot and I, being the planners of the group, got to work with preparing for the trip.

We decided that we are going to go to Honeyman State Park . I frequented this park as a young child with our family friends, spending hours swimming in the lakes and hiking on the nearby beach trails. The past few summers, with most of us kids in high school or college, it was difficult to find a time to make it back. Now, I will finally be returning with a group of people just as important to me as those friends so close to family that raised me.

It's getting late, but Rose and Margot and I are still getting everything shoved into the back of my parents' van. My parents said goodnight a couple of hours ago and instructed us to have a good time this weekend. We intend to leave early in the morning, before they would care to be awake.

At about midnight I tell Rose and Margot to get ready for bed. "I just want to double check a few things," I tell them. Margot nods and gives me a hug goodnight. She is most of the way up the stairs by the time that Rose looks towards me for our goodnight.

"You sure you don't want me to stay up?" she asks. I shake my head no and she grins. She leans toward me and I gently place my fingers on her cheek as we kiss goodnight. It's a beautiful moment every time, I swear. It doesn't get old.

She goes upstairs and I go through the list on my phone. I check the trunk of the van and the kitchen to ensure all the necessary components are where they should be and everything seems to be in order.

It's nearly one in the morning by the time that I go upstairs. I walk slowly down the dark hallway and I look into my room once my eyes have adjusted to the faint light. Rose is lying on my bed with Margot on the ground next to her. There is a space for me between Rose and the wall beside the bed-- not very much room as Rose seems to have moved in her sleep.

I look at my phone to double check the alarm for seven so that we leave by eight. Six hours seems so little time that I contemplate not going to sleep whatsoever. This is a feeling that I get once every couple of months; It's a sort of questioning of the usefulness of sleep when I could remain awake to write or read or draw. This sensation tends to be brought on by such a sense of contentment that I don't want it to end, which will inevitably happen in sleep.

I just want to keep that beautiful peaceful feeling for a few moments longer but drowsiness takes me down and I move towards the bed, careful to avoid my friends as I situate myself between Rose and the wall. She doesn't seem to wake up as I move under the quilt of stitched together t-shirts and I take a deep breath in hopes of relaxation.

"You awake?" I whisper with my face so close to hers that our noses are touching.

For a moment I think that she is deep asleep before she weakly responds, "Nope," without opening her eyes. "Why?"

"I can't sleep." I sound like a pouting seven year old as my mind buzzes and doesn't want to fade away.

"There, there," she says sarcastically, yet half asleep, and she kisses the tip of my nose. "Go to sleep, my love. We have an early morning." I turn back onto my pillow as she drifts back into sleep. Rose did nothing to calm my mind, she just agitated it more; I guess the word 'love' is now a part of our relationship.

The next morning, the three of us are up at the soft wind chime of my alarm, ready to drive 3 hours down to Florence, Oregon.

Between 7:30 and 8 everyone arrives at my house, either carpooling or having been dropped off by parents. We all wear the same drowsy expression except for Samantha, who, despite never drinking caffeine, always seems to have just consumed a double shot espresso. We decide that Samantha will drive her van with most of the campers and I will drive mine with the equipment.