As One - From The As Series

Getting Them Out of His Head | 10

He was tired, of everything, really. His life that he's living is worthless, there's no meaning to it. Just seeing her laugh, be carefree, run around makes him feel sad for what he's about to do. It can't get out of his head, but it's just always there, in his mind.

Ruqaiyah used to physically disabled, not being able to walk, now, look at her, running around whilst her brothers try to catch her.

'She'll never love you'

'You're worthless'

'You don't deserve them'

'You killed your own sister'

'Your grand-pére doesn't care about you'

'You're a monster'

'They all hate you'

'Even she hates you'

'Nobody cares'

'Life would be better if you were off the planet'

'You're a coward'

"Uthman, are you okay? Handsome, can you hear me?" He couldn't pin out who's voice he was hearing, but all he knew that it's familiar and comforting. His eyesight was blurry, glassy as if he was in a daze - well, he is in one, however, he isn't aware.

Ruqaiyah panicked. Uthman's hallucinating, unaware of his surroundings, in his own little world of despair and sorrow. "Uthman! Mani, wake up! It's just a hallucination! It's me, Ruqaiyah, your gorgeous. Khaleel, help!"

He wished he could to die. What was the point of living anyway? He only fails himself and everyone around him. He felt so useless. He is nothing without her, his gorgeous.

Khaleel slapped him, "Hey Akhi, wake up!" "Fatima, get Zahra away from here," Ali instructed his wife. She nodded and took their daughter away. Uthman didn't even react and that's what worried her.

Yousuf splashed some water on him and again, he didn't even react. Just seeing him like that made Ruqaiyah desperate to wake him up.

She sat down beside him. "Please Uthman, get out of it! I'm pleading you, please. If you love me, then, wake up! It's all a hallucination, it's all in your head, please!" she tangled her hand in his hair.

Uthman listened to her, her speech affecting him. Looking at her was his first reaction, but before he would breakdown, he ran towards the rest-room, shut the door and locked it.

He slide down.

Streams of tears flowed faster than his heartbeat. Tears of pain running down his cheeks. A single drop of grief welled up from the corner of his eye. He bleeds the salt of his soul and as it pours from his eyes. Hot torrents of grief coursed down his face as he bit his lip hardly, causing it to bruise, a metallic substance begining to highten his senses.

"Uthman, please open the door!" Ruqaiyah banged. "N-No! Get away, get out! Get out of my head!" he shrieked, both of his fisted hands banging his head. "Uthman, you have to open the door, right now, willingly, or I'll deal with it the hard way!" Zakaria reasoned.

He didn't know what to do. To say that he didn't care was an understatement. He sighed and nodded. He stood up from the floor and said, "I'll unlock the door, but on one condition, Ruqaiyah has to be here, no questions, deal?"

A numerous amount of 'deal' were chorused. Uthman looked at the lock, hesitantly, unlocking it. Ruqaiyah looked at Aammu Zakaria for confirmation and he nodded.

She slowly opened the door. She found him huddled in the corner of the rest-room on the ceramic floor; tear stained, pale face; bloodshot, emotionless, dark eyes; blue, purple-ish, bloodied lips.

Ruqaiyah scooted towards Uthman, sitting beside him.

"I don't want to do this anymore. I know that it had been a few months since we started therapy, but I don't know what I want or what is happening to me," he started, "Na'ila is starting to haunt me, again, including Grandpa which is unusual for him to haunt me - in a bad way, I mean. And then these thoughts start to take over, I'm tired of it."

Ruqaiyah smiled weakly. She gently placed her head on his shoulder. She clasped her hand in his, intertwining them, making them one. "I promise in helping you, getting them out of your head."

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~Translation & Glossary~

(Bold = French, Arabic / Normal = English, Meaning)

Grand-père: Grandpa

Akhi: Brother