Dreams of Magic (Harry Potter)

Sixteen: Bravery

Draco sat slumped against the wall outside the Ravenclaw common room. Internally, his mind was a whirling cesspool of questions and apologies... and fear. On the outside his face was blank, betraying none of the emotion he felt within.

He barely knew where to begin. He hated himself for it, but he couldn't bring himself to visit her that day. It hurt him too much, and that awful night's events were still open wounds in his heart. Many questions ran rampant in his mind: 'Is she okay?' 'Is she still in pain?' 'Why is it taking her so long to wake up?' 'Will she be angry with me?'

'Why am I angry with her?'

Truth be told, he was so angry with Addy, and he knew it was irrational. But the fear he'd felt when calling out to her that night was unreal as he listened to her lifeless voice taunt him. Her body moved and bent unnaturally as she lost control, and it was the most terrifying thing he'd ever witnessed. He vividly remembered being frozen in fear, completely unable to move or think properly. It wasn't her fault at all- if anything, Draco felt it was his fault, because Quirrell had used him to put her in danger and it worked. Still, beyond the clear logic and five full days later, he still felt the dull throb of anger sweeping back and forth in his heart.

"How're you doing, Draco?" A familiar voice asked. Draco looked up from the floor and Jay stood in front of him. Draco only shrugged.

"I'm going to visit Addy, did you want to come? I don't know if you were there, but she woke up yesterday and is doing fine." A long moment of silence sat between them. Ashamed, the blonde dropped his head and shook it 'no'. He refused to look up, lest he see the disappointment that was sure to be on Jay's face. This kid, Addy's best friend, had gone to visit her every single day and spent as much time in Pomfrey's office as the nurse would allow. Draco knew, glancing up at Jay's tired eyes and slumped posture, that it wasn't easy. He rubbed at his own swollen eyes, feeling the puffy skin of dark bags underneath. It was grueling, tiring, and painful. And yet, Jay was still going on, taking it day by day, and doing his due diligence to his best friend. Draco had no doubt at all that Mei-Lin was doing the same. Yet he sat here on the floor in front of their dorms, unable to work up the courage to see her that day while Jay was displaying inspiring amounts of bravery. In comparison, Draco felt incompetent for not wanting to see her and guilty for being angry at her.

"Hey." Draco was surprised to feel a hand clap down on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it. I'm not judging you." Draco looked up, feeling brave enough to look Jay in the face.

"It's not easy to see her like that. I can barely do it," Jay admitted, and Draco stayed silent in shock. He didn't know either of Addy's best friends that well, but Jay had never shown himself to be very emotional. The fact that he was willing to share meant a lot.

"I get it, don't worry." And with that, Jay stood up straight and walked down the hall. Draco felt a surge of real appreciation for him. Typically, Draco found Jay overwhelming, and thus, annoying. However, Addy's situation had brought him closer to her friends, whether they wanted it or not. For the first time, Draco was truly thankful for it. The weight sitting in his chest felt a little lighter, and the burning in his heart dissipated some. He wasn't alone, and he had to remember that.

***

A simple knock on the door had never been so intimidating.

As soon as Draco knocked, he drew his hand back as if the door was on fire and his knuckles had been burned. Through the small window, he could see four pairs of eyes turn toward him. His heart dropped when he saw that Addy almost immediately looked away.

"Come in," He'd heard the nurse's voice call. Draco gently opened the door and stepped inside.

"Another visitor for one of these two?" Madame Pomfrey asked, looking resigned. "It seems their friendship knows no bounds. Just keep quiet, please." She disappeared back into her office, shutting the door behind her. Draco let his eyes linger on her door for a moment too long, because Mei-Lin spoke up.