North Star

Chapter II

It's been a week since they went to our house. My life is still the same. I'm doing  my routine everyday like nothing happened.

I thought they won't come anymore. But to my surprise,they are here early in the morning. They brought the contract.
"Finn, as a return of your help,we'll send you to an amazing university in San Fransisco, you can have your doctorate degree there."
"What?"
"We know that you had your MA already. Since we came this far,we will let you have you doctorate degree as your payment."
Things are finally arranged. I was bound to get married to the man I loved before. He is the first man I wished to be with until my last breath. I always look up to the sky and wanting there would be a shooting star and I could wish again and again that our paths will cross again and I could be with him forever. But the only thing is I couldn't remember his face. I don't know why. My brain can't find his face.
"Okay,I'll do it. If everything is bad,I can go home right away. Right?"
"Yeah,don't worry. I'll be your mom in there."
"Thank you,Mrs. Falcon."
"Call me mom from now on."

I was given three months to prepare. I just signed the marriage contract and their lawyer made it possible. My papers were already done too.

"What ?? Is this real? You're going to California? Wow! You must be lucky. And you're married already."
"Yeah,everything you heard  is right. So you don't have to repeat it. Well,no more blind dates I think."
"It's okay without love?"
" hmm. I don't care about it. I should. That country maybe never believe in love. So I should do it too."
"Are you going to sleep with him?"
"What? Of course not. "
"But you're married."
"In papers only."
"These are all some kind of jokes. Will you wake up? Marriage is not like that easy. "
"Don't worry. I can hand myself and of course if I'm in trouble I would definitely call you. You are still my good friend,Lee."
"Oh,I'm crying. When are you going there?"
"Next week. This is my parents decision. They owed one to their family. I have to pay it by doing this."
"You're so bad. Some children will escape to be free from arranged marriages,but in your case you actually accepted it. If I were you,I won't accept it."
"Would you if they offer you a full scholarship for your doctorate degree?" I smiled.
"Really? Oh,that would be okay. Make yourself busy from now on."
"Thank you Lee. I will terribly miss my crazy friend."
"You're bad. When you come back home,don't forget to bring me good things."
" of course."
I resigned from my job as an online tutor. I can't do it anymore. I'm sure I have to practice the Californian life. I'm still a Filipino with different perspective. We have different culture.
Days passed by and it is the final day. There's no backing out. I have to go and even the President of the Republic of the Philippines can't stop me.
They sent me to the airport. All of my family were there. From my cousins to my nephew,they sent me there. It's weird since they should be sad and lonely. They are all smiling at me. Are they happy?
"I'm going now."
"Please take care Finn,eat your meals everyday. If everything is fine please visit us soon."
"Yeah,I would after a month I'll come back."
My mom hugged me.
"Please be happy with him. I know you loved him."
"That's long time ago mom. Now is different. I no longer remember his face so it is like talking to a stranger."
"But heart will recognize. Forget Liam and focus now to your future."
"Mom,Liam is far from my vicinity now. I'm still a kid that time and it's not totally love at all. "
"Fine. Think that this marriage is out of love not out of gratitude."
"I can't do that."
"Well,enjoy yourself."
"Thanks mom."
I left them. I got into the line of people heading to the departure area. A lump in my throat began. My tears are already in my eyes waiting to fall down. This is suicide of my own freedom. I can no longer travel another country. I have plan to visit Laos.
I sat down on the chair provided by the airport management. While waiting for my flight,I am thinking how I should handle him. Did he change?
I remember when he came to Philippines for his grandfather's burial. That's our first meeting. He is the most serious one among his cousins. So I have this feeling to talk to him. Though I only ask him one question and he of course answered them all. He once smiled at me when I complimented him with his look but I didn't totally get his full facial expression. I always bow down my head every time I talked to him. My heart is pounding so loud that I couldn't have the chance to look at him a little longer.
It was then after a week they went back to States. I don't have any chance to see him again and I'm resorting to wishing upon a star to give me another opportunity to see him. That was about one year during my high school days. Then,I ended up forgetting the promise and all the shooting stars that I wished upon. I got tired and lost hope since it was an elusive dream.

Then,I turned my head to the other side. That is when I found Liam. And the rest is a history.

I got up when they announced my flight number.
Dragging my suitcase I followed the queues of people going to board the plane. This is my first time riding a plane going to States. Of course,I've been travelling around Asia but I always feel like this seems like it's my first time riding on it.
I put the sign of the cross and sat down on the window seat. I gave watched a lot of movies with plane accident. Wings are burning, someone is hijacking it,or even engine malfunction too. I closed my eyes when it began to rise up. My stomach is slowly gasping for air.
"Oh holy Jesus,please help me."
When it subsides, I relaxed from my seat. This is gonna be fun for me. I hugged the pillow given from flight attendant. I am depending on this pillow. My comfort depends on this pillow really.
I closed my eyes. It is a long journey. We have connecting flight in South Korea but we don't have to change plane.

I sleep the entire trip. Then the pilot began to announce that we are now heading to San Francisco  International airport. My heart began to excite. Excited to see the country. Of course.

But two minutes later the plane began to shake. It's a turbulence. Keep calm,Finn. I looked outside then I found out the wings are burning. Oh dear,is this my final destination? I still want to go to Laos. 
I closed my eyes and held firmly on the armchair. The kid is looking at me.
"Are you okay?" He asked me.
"I'm fine,how about you?"
"Me too."
I'm imagining the pilot's facial expression during this time. I plead God to guide us and help us from this tragedy.
"Lord,I'll be kind to people now. I promise"
"Aren't you kind before?" The kid told me when he heard what I said.
"Did I say it a loud?"
"Loud that I could hear."
"Oh..not so much. So,be kind to people too."
"I'm always."

Then the pilot announced that we are now safe and ready to go. The plane already landed safely. I took a deep breath.