North Star

Chapter XI

It's already one month but still she's not awake. I stayed almost all my free time in the hospital.
Today is her 30th day in her room.
"Good morning,wife,do you remember this? I took this picture during my grandfather's wake. "
It was a picture which I took it when she's sitting with all my cousins. She carried Julie my little niece. Julie's father is my cousin. Actually,I took it to get a photo with her.  She's still young. Her hair was tied in a bun.
She's not looking at the camera but to Rocky. She was fond of Rocky. They were closed to each other. I almost hit Rocky when he greeted her before.

I was looking at the picture when I feel someone is watching me. I saw her. She's awake now.
"Finn,"
"Hi."
"You scared me."
She's awake now.
"Wait,I'll call the doctor."
The operation is successful.
"Am I sleeping for too long?"
"Why?"
"Your stubbles are growing. You look an old man."
"Yeah. I know. "
I touched my face.
I've never shaved my face since she was here. The moment I am away from her, I feel something will happen to her.
Now,she has another challenge to take and that is her chemotherapy.
"What about my school?"
"They are waiting for you."
"I missed school."
I helped her to get up from the bed.
The doctor came in the room.
" Stephan,can we talk for a while?"
"Sure."
I went out after the doctor checked her. He must be telling me about her condition again.
"I have something to tell you."
"I hope it's not bad news doc."
"Of course. It's not. I can give you a medicine for her illness. We can replace chemotherapy."
"Really?"
"Yes,since her leukemia is not getting worst,I can prescribe you with this med----"
"Who has leukemia?"
We both keep silence when we heard her voice.  She was now standing by the door. With the IV drops at her side,she looked at us with anger eyes.
"When are you going to keep this from me?"
"Wait,Finn. We are about to tell you this."
"No. You don't have plan to tell me because you went out to talk about this. "
"So if we tell you this,do you think you will be okay?"
"Don't see me from now on. Leave me alone. I don't need people like you."
She get inside her room.
"Don't worry. We will help you.  Go. Talk to her. She needs you this time."
I followed her. Good thing,she didn't lock the door.
I saw her lying on the bed. She was looking at the window.
"I want to go back to the Philippines."
"No you can't."
"I want to. I want to die there. Not here."
My tears would like to come out again.
"No one will die Finn."
"I'm dying. I have leukemia. "
She sat on the bed slowly. Her surgery was still fresh.
"Do you believe me? I will help you."
"Before I did. But now no! You keep it from me. Why you didn't tell me. You give me hopes when I opened my eyes and now I heard I still have leukemia? Do you think I couldn't feel down? "
"Please listen to me. I don't want you to be worried."
"I don't care. You should have told me."
"And then what? "
"You're liar."
"Call me names I don't care. I just want to protect you. I don't want you to be worried after the surgery."
"Get out. Leave me alone."
"No."
"Just leave me. Don't ever come near me."
She's crying now. Her pale lips dried up. Her sad eyes and rears ran down her cheeks.
I hugged her.
"Please don't push me away. I want to take care of you."
"Don't give me reason to live more,because my body is giving up already. Just leave me"
We cried together.
"Leave"
I went out but I stayed on the bench outside. I looked up the sky.
"Why you are doing this to us?" I cried. I don't know what to do. It's painful.  I went home and sleep. At midnight,I woke up. I thought Finn was there.
I got my phone to call her.
It's ringing.
"Hello."
"F-finn?"
"Why aren't you sleeping?"
"Can I come ?"
"Stay there and don't call me. "
"Finn,"
I got my car key and drove off to the hospital. She was still on the phone.
"I'm sleeping."
"okay."
I walked to her room. I didn't see her when I opened the door. Where is she?
I ran to the rooftop.
There,she was standing on the edge of rooftop.
"Finn." I called her. She turned her head to me.
I ran towards her and hugged her tightly.
"Why are you here?" I asked. She's crying.
"I'm here for you. Don't ever think of leaving me,Finn."
"Promise me that you won't keep any secrets to me." She said. I nodded my head.
"Promise."
"Will I die with leukemia?"
"No."
"Really?"
"I'll make sure of that."
"How ? What will you do?"
"There is bone marrow transplant and a medicine. Since your case is not in terminal stage,your body can cope with the given medicine."
"really?"
"Who will be my donor?"
"I got a test yesterday."

The doctor asked me to be tested for the bone marrow transplant. I was afraid of the big needle inserted in my skin. It was painful bit for Finn I have to do it.

"Then?"
"Next week we would know the result."
"What if we aren't compatible?"
"Then I'll find another one."
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"Because you're my wife."
"If not?"
"I'm not sure"
"Wife. Good sound. I feel I have home. "
"Look at the sky."
She followed what I told her. The sky is full of stars. The North star is shining again above us.
"The North star is considered as the beacon of inspiration and a hope. Do you know that long time ago,the navigators didn't have GPS, they used the north star. Wherever they may be,and they are lost,they will look at the sky and find their way back home."
"Really?"
"Yeah,so when you are lost,look at the sky,you'll find me. You will be able to find the direction to me."
"Thank you."
"I will always be your North star. I will never get tired of watching over you."
"So do I . if I die ,I will become the brightest star in the sky so that I can see you."
"No. You won't die from this. We will die because of old age. Like my grandfather. Remember that?"
"Will I get old like you?"
"Of course. You will. We will die with shaking bones,white hair,wrinkled face and unclear eyes."
"I want that."
"And I will hold your hand like this and together we will close our eyes forever."