North Star

Chapter XII

My parents were always visiting us in the hospital. She stayed in there for another two months.
"I'm tired staying here." She said while eating her lunch. I brought her the food. I have work but I have to come here at lunch.
"Hold on until next month,you can go out."
"Really? I look like a zombie now."She was holding a mirror while eating.
" give me that." I'm pointing to the mirror.
"No,can't you see I'm using it."
My lunch time is almost over so I have to go back to my company. I got up and picked up my coat.
" I'm going."
"Don't work overtime later. "
"Yeah,I know. I'll bring my paper works here."
"Okay. Thanks for the food."
"Bye."
I got the plate and washed it in the bathroom. She's now reading her favorite book.
"Time to rest,don't forget. Here is your med. Take this."
She took it and drank the water that I gave her.
" Bye."
I ran my fingers through her hair.
"Yeah,don't do that. "
"Your hair smells bad."
I laughed. She used my shampoo.
"Yours too."
"Bye,Finna."
"Finna? Who's that? Are you cheating on me?"
"Hmm. "
"Fine,whatever. You can't be happy if you cheat on me. I'll be fine someday. Watch out. I'll take revenge."
"Really? I'll look forward on it."
"Hey,come here."
"Why?"
I walked nearer to her. This woman is really something.
"Near"
She caught my arm and hugged me tightly.
"Bye."
I was surprised by her actions now. I smiled.
"I think I'll get $1 million dollar from you "
" I won't pay you."
" I'm going. Take care okay? Mom will be here soon. "
"Yeah,I'm fine. Don't cheat on me okay?"
"I won't . I can't do that to my wife."
"I'll be healthy then you don't have to worry anymore. You can be happy and have time for yourself. I don't want you to be like this."
"It's alright. I'm happy now I can talk to you like this. It's more painful if you are hurt because of your illness."
"I don't use my smartphone anymore. I'll be doing exercise and eat healthy foods. I promised."
"That's good. I'm going now. I might lose my job."
I hugged her before I went out.
"Take care. Bye."
" bye." I closed the door in her room. My mom just arrived.
"Oh,thank you mommy. You're here. "
"I was about to get inside but I saw you two talking. I feel I don't have to disturb you. "
I smiled.
"Mom."
"Yeah I know. You loved her before and until now. Why you didn't tell me beforehand?"
"I'm not sure I could find her"
"What, ? What are you thinking of me? I can do it."
"Mom,okay. I got it. You're the best mom in the world. I have to go please take care of her."
"Okay."
I went to work.
Now,I have her,I feel I have purpose why I'm doing my best at work. Why I'm working too hard. Everything has reason now not like before. As if I'm trying to hide myself from home so that they won't ask my personal life because I don't know how to answer.
"Sir,I'm going home first."
"Sure. Go ahead."
I'm arranging my things before I go out. I have to work the remaining papers in the hospital.
Before I go out,I called her.
"Where's mom?"
"She left. Dad is going home. She has to take care of him."
"Okay. I'm going home too."
"Okay."
"Do you want to eat something?"
"No. Just come here early so that you can take a rest."
"Fine. "
"Take care."
" I will."
I cried when I heard her voice. What if the bone marrow doesn't go well to her. No. She'll be okay.
"Mattheo, are you crying?"
I sat down on my swivel chair.
"I'm not."
"No,you're crying. What happened?"
"Finn,promise me you won't leave me okay?"
She laughed to the words I said.
"I'm fine."
"I'm scared."
"Don't be scared. We only have two options. Life and death. Two roads we have to take at the right time. If my body choose the other one,well what can I do? I have to go there."
"Finn,no."
"Are you crazy,Stephan Mattheo?"
"I might die too."
"No,I won't let you to do that. You have to live your life."
"What for? I don't have any reason to do it."
"Come here now. I'll hit you real hard to wake you up. You really wanted me to die early for thinking like that."
"No. I can't help it."
"You can find another woman whom you really love so much and you'll marry her in the church. We met because of some reason. You might forget me after."
"Really?" I pretended to be excited.
"Yeah. You will. Guess what? There are a lot of healthy and beautiful women here in your country. Surely you can find your the one. I'll pray for you."
I feel I cried a lot today.

I went out and drove back to the hospital.
My eyes were swollen. I opened the door and I saw her lying on the hospital bed.
"You're here."
"Hmm. How are you?"
Her eyes are swollen too. Is she crying?
"You should not attached yourself to me. I don't want to be sad leaving you. Be happy. By the way,I have a favor."
"What is it?"
"I want that our marriage will be dissolved next month. My body is getting weaker and weaker. I don't want to have chemotherapy if the bone marrow is unsuccessful. Please be happy ,Mattheo."
My body stiffened. Hearing her words is like a stabbed wounds to my heart. My tears ran down to my cheeks again.
"Are you breaking up on me?"
"That's a favor. I want to go home after my bone marrow."
"Finn."
"Let's do this. "
"What if you'll be fine?"
"Then I'm setting you free. I'll go back to the Philippines."
"Then what about me?"
"You find your love."
" let's not talk about this. You just promise me to be healthy but now you are telling me negative things again."
"I'm sorry. I'm trying to be strong."
"Then try it one more time."
" I can't. My body is telling me to give up."
"Then are you gonna follow your body to give up on everything? Until I don't get tired of taking care of you,don't give up. Not until I tell you to do so. "
"I don't want to see you miserable?! Look at yourself,you almost forget yourself Mattheo. I can't help it but thinking you are suffering too and I become selfish for doing that to you. I'm the sole reason why you are like that. If not me,you would be able to do the things you supposed to do in your life. "
"What should I do then?"
"Forget me and live your life the way you wanted to be. Your mom can help me with this. Just go on with your life. Forget me and have fun. Bring back the joy you had before. Go out with your friends and go on dates."
"Stupid. It's not me. "
"Then do the things you wanted to do."
"Fine."
"Okay,you can go home tomorrow. "
I changed my clothes and sat on the couch in front of her bed.
"Won't you eat your dinner?" She asked me.
"I don't have the appetite after you told me those words."
"Go out,and eat your dinner. Do you want to get sick too?"
"I'm busy."
"Hey,are you out of your mind?"
"Stop talking and rest. If you don't love me,stop telling me that you are concerned of me."
"Fine. Then just die there with hungry stomach."
"I will die with you."
"Hey. Go out now and eat your dinner."