Me and my dads (a phanfiction)

11. Video scripts

A/N OK NEW YEARS RESOLUTION: WRITE A FUCKLOAD MORE. I'll keep you updated on that one. Also thanks for 500 reads. ENJOY.

After breakfast I sit at my desk, take my notebook, my favourite pen, and write. You know they're not gonna like it. They are plotting to kill you, throw you laptop away! I try to ignore it, as allways. I will write what I will write. Don't, please don't you think you are the boss. There's a lot of thunder outside. I can hear it. The lightning flashes through the room, not that that bothers me. I am writing a videoscript. And I'll deal with the rest later.

My muscles in my arms, they are... Doing something they shouldn't do. They are cramped and loose at the sane time, hot and cold, and not really mine. As I feel the wind pulling at my hair, my eyesight gets blurrier. I keep writing, it feels like someone else is controlling my body. My arm commits movements and i don't know if i can use it as a videoscript anymore.

'Anyone, anyone, anyone who can help this precious little fuck, oh dear lord.' ' Who the hell makes that kind of pure shit up.' ' Oh my precious little fuck, you silly crybaby, let me cure your schizophrenia, because, as we all know, you cannot solve your own problems, can you?' Well, as we all know, you might have learnt your lesson, apart from that, zip it up!'

Af I stay inbetween the lines, I wil not get in trouble. Why does this allways happen to me? I can not ever controll my little time I've got on earth is being followed by the moon as a cute satelite and I am writing. Just let me sing my problems. Like how pedestrianity is being fed by surroundings.

'Let me be your land
Let me be your queen
As your lover is seen
May you dance hand in hand

Let me be your guide
Let me be your friend
Whenever you're in disguise
I will never let it end

Just listen to me
Just let me calm you down
Just listen to Ivy
I won't let you down'

I am terrified. I don't know what just happend and what were and weren't my own thoughts. And that melody, was 'Ivy' really singing that, or was it something I made up?

I look around. I look at my shadow on the wall. The windows and the door is closed. The weather is wonderful. No wind, no thunder, or rain. I feel the chair pressing against my back. I am aware of the space between me and the four walls. I can hear the silence.

I can hear the silence. I can hear the silence. I can hear the silence approaching me. I can hear the silence surrounding me. I am aware that the silence is looking at me, studying my habits, silence knows... Me being this exhibition is ridiculous. My limbs feel numb and gravity doesn't realy have an impact on me as it used to... I try to move but my skin feels like it has turned into glass.

I hear a voice calling from the distance, similar to Phil's, but it still sounds kinda distorted. Like a robot voice talking to me. Warmth surrounds me. After a while, the glass layer over my flesh slowly turns into skin again. Slowly i feel hairs tickling my face, and I hear someone breathing close to me. My eyesight gets sharper, and I notice that I'm slowly being rocked from side to side. I slowly try to move my limbs around Phil hugging me, as he grabs a tissue from his pocket and dries my cheeks and eyes. I've been crying all the time. I bury my face in Phils neck, and slowly start sobbing. Phil drags me onto his lap, and embraces me into a hug. 'It's allright,' he says 'I know it's hard, i know.' 'I want it to stop, now, I've had enough.' I manage to say in between sobs. 'Shhh... Please, Anna.' He looks at the paper. 'What 's that?' He asks. 'My attempt to make a video script.' I answer. I look down at the sheet.

Hi people, you might be wondering why i got my arm all wrapped up, well, a movie needed a mummie , sooo ...
Okay, I'll tell you the truth.
So ever since I was a toddler, I had nightmares, i heard voices, and had hallucinations. After I told my parents, because I didn't know what it was, they kind of got scared and introduced me to a woman. She is a therapist , and she has helped me such a lot.

I discussed making the video with my parents, and they were kind of concerned about the reactions.

Well, I am diagnosed with schizophrenia. And 99.99% of all schizophrenic people aren't chainsaw maniacs running through kindergartens with a mask on, and 99.99% off all chainsaw mainiacs aren't schizophrenic . Basically what it is for me, is seeing hallucinations , feeling things crawling at my back that aren't there there you little idiot . Nightmares are also a thing. Mine are mostly about what you deserve. You little pooface thinking you are something important. Everybody thinks you're a faggotbaby. I think you are a little too stupid to live on, aren't you? You fokken idiot. You. Are. Useless.

Let me shoot holes in your chest
Punch holes in your eyes
It's still not there I am tired of your bullshit
I cannot find any help Let's play in the moonlight
I am a step ahead of fate
I am told I'm falling behind

A S I T I S E A TI N G MYYY SSS K IN

F ROM IN S IDE O U T

TH ANKS PEOPLE N O W I'M D E A D

I look up at Phil . He looks up at me. I burry my face in his chest. He wraps his arms around me and softly pats my back. I want to scream and shout and let tears stream down my face.

I want Phil to calm me down with great difficulty. I want to rip all the paper I have around me into tiny little pieces and tear my bedshets apart. I want Phil and Dan to wrap their soft and familiar arms around me, and I want to struggle to get out of them. I want them to hug me tight and hush me, I want them to me a lullaby and I want to fall asleep in their arms.

But I just stay numb. I my dad's arms. Phil softly rocks me from side to side, as he whispers:

Luna luna kindje klein
Droemi droemi zacht
Suya suya kindje klein
Luna luna nacht

'Dad ?' I ask. 'Yeah?' He responds. 'Can you tell a story please?' I say. 'Sure.' He said. He places me properly on his lap, so I am leaning with my back against his chest. He holds me in his arms, and even though I don't quite fit on his lap anymore, Phil just doesn't really care.

'So a few months after Dan and I just met... I visited him when he was still living with his parents. And Adrian was just a little boy, who liked running around in the fields. So Dan's parents weren't home, and Adrian was about to go to a friends house in like an hour or so, and we had to keep him entertained. So Dan decided to... To...' Phil pauses to hold in his laughter. 'So he decahahaha...' Phil spits out. 'Sorry sorry.' He says. 'So he decides to chase him as a monster into the fields, and he is running on the front, and Adrian has to chase him now. So there is this huge piece of ship in the middle of the field. Well he was running towards it, and jumped over it. And Adrian followed him, but right before he tripped over and fell right with his face in the horse crahaha...' We both burst out into laughter.

A/N So there you go, it took me 1 1/2 month to finish it. I'm sorry for the short chapter. BYE