Book Four: Solitude (A. Saltzman)

Chapter One

Diana sits on the floor of the nursery, her back against the wall as she stares at the cribs in front of her. She hasn't slept. She can't. She's terrified of closing her eyes. Of something happening. So she has forced herself to stay awake all night. Her phone rings on the floor next to her. Damon's number flashing on the screen. Diana glares down at it before slamming her fist down onto it, shattering and breaking her phone. She takes a breath and looks back at the cribs, sitting vigilantly over her children. Diana stands hearing movement from the crib. She hums a little as she moves towards it. She leans over the crib and watches the two of them laying their together. Whilst they are small enough to stay together, she will keep them together. She watches as they move and stretch and settle again. It's the boy that cries first, just a little sound before he's full-on wailing, which of course, wakes up the girl, and sets her off crying too.

"Both of you?" she asks with a sigh as both babies cry in sync. She groans and nods. "Okay...."

..........

Later; Diana sits on the couch and lets out a breath as she looks down at the piece of paper in her hand. It's a list of baby names. Something she and Alaric had been putting together. They hadn't even gotten a chance to talk them through. She sighs as she cradles her daughter closer to her, her son sleeping in the basket at her side. She needs to figure out something. She has to call them something. She goes through the list in silence. She actually hates all of them now. None of them hold any meaning. None of them mean anything to her.

"This is stupid" She complains throwing the list down. They were supposed to do this together, how can she be trusted to make a decision this big on her own. She rubs her head and looks down at her daughter sadly. They were supposed to do all of this together. Diana looks at the front door as someone attempts to enter, she cocks her head and waits.

"Watchdog?" Damon asks as he knocks on the door. "Why is the door locked?" He adds jiggling the doorknob. Diana stands and moves closer to the door.

"To keep out unwanted intruders" Diana answers on the other side of the door. "Go away, Damon"

"It's about Elena" Diana rolls her eyes.

"Of course it is" She counters. "Everything is always about Elena" she growls.

"Just let me in," Damon asks of her. "We can talk about this"

"There's nothing to talk about" She argues. "Leave me alone"

"She's in transition" Damon states, Diana closes her eyes and then lets out a breath.

"And that is my problem how?" she asks him.

"Because she's your sister....your family..."

"No, no" She snaps. "No, my family is in here with me. You know, the children I gave birth too whilst you were out getting my husband killed" Damon flinches a little.

"Diana" He whispers.

"I'm done losing things for you people" She scolds. "You better hope Elena chooses to die, Damon, because if she doesn't.....I'll finish it myself" She warns him. "Let's see how you feel when the ones you love are taken away from you," She adds and then moves away from the door. Damon stares at the front door and then sighs.

.............

Damon walks into the Gilbert kitchen where Elena is sat at the counter, she turns to him.

"How is she?" Elena asks instantly. Damon lets out a breath and shrugs a little.

"She wouldn't even let me in" Damon admits. "Derek was right...she's not...dealing with all of this"

"Are you?" Elena counters, Damon shoots her a look. "Just saying" She mumbles. "What about the babies?"

"Didn't get in to see them" Damon reminds her.

"Right" Elena whispers. "Maybe I should call her"

"She won't answer" Damon counters. "I already tried that...."

"Oh" Elena breaths. "Well...She shouldn't be on her own...."

"Elena..." Damon stops her. "She doesn't want any of us around her; just give her space" Damon then leaves. Elena takes a shaky breath and fiddles with her hands. She grabs her cell phone and opens up the messages to construct one to send to Diana. 'I'm sorry'. Elena then sends it. But Diana won't get it. She broke her phone. She wants to be left alone.

..............

Diana can't get any peace. Even though it is all she wants. All she wants is to be left alone with her children. She drops the mug into the full sink as someone else knocks on the apartment door. She takes a deep breath willing them to leave her alone. But they don't. They just keep knocking.

"Go away" Diana yells at the door.

"Mrs. Saltzman" She flinches at the name. "It's Pastor Young" She frowns a little. "I was hoping we could talk"

"No" She argues. "I'm busy"

"It's about your husband"

"My husband is dead" She points out, her voice wavering.

"I know" Pastor Young agrees. "I have a letter from him...for you" Diana takes a shaky breath as she steps closer to the door.

"What?" She asks.

"A letter" he offers softer. "If you would...open the door" She looks at the door and wrings her hands together. With the chain on the door, she opens it. Pastor Young holds out a letter to her. She looks from it to him before she takes it from him. She turns back into the apartment and glances down at the envelope. She opens up the letter and lets out a breath as she pulls the paper free to read it.

..........

Diana,

After I attacked you, I realized my mistake. I realized that the best hope for this town, for the people in it....is you, Diana. You're the only one determined and stubborn enough to get it done. Everything I have done. Everything. Is for you and our children. To proved a better world, a world free of the danger of vampires. Now it's your turn.

I love you, always

Alaric

............

Diana brushes her hand over her cheek. Alaric's ghost seems to linger close to her, he hasn't left, he can't leave her. Not yet. She touches the letter and lets out a breath. He watches her worried, because he wrote that letter when he was going insane, and in his right mind, he doesn't want her to go down that path. He doesn't want her to hurt the people she loves. Even if she is currently angry and hurt at them. He moves closer to her.

"I was wrong" He states but she can't hear him. "Please don't do it" He begs of her. "Diana" he whispers, she turns and walks back to the door. Her mind made up. She opens the door to Pastor Young who turns to face her.

"What do you need of me?" she asks him. Pastor Young smiles.