short stories → wolfstar

full moon 2/3 <3

                                     sirius

tonight is the full moon. which means my beautiful remus is going through hell as soon as the sun leaves the sky. fuck i hate it. i hate the pain he goes through, i hate the werewolf who bit him. i hate it even more than i hate the fact at the end of the day, i cant stop what's happening to remus. that i have no power in stopping his pain. i'd swap with him any day if it meant it meant he was safe.

for the last year i've been hiding my feelings for remus. it's so hard knowing that the owner of those enchanting amber eyes is not mine. that those plump, soft lips will never touch my own. that i'll never be able to stroke his head of soft mousy brown ringlets and whisper "i love you".

it hurts. but our friendship means more to me. so obviously, i'll keep my distance.

the whole day me, james and peter try to comfort remus as much as we can but we know it's futile. even though he puts a brave face on, we all know how much he's hurting underneath.
as evening creeps nearer and nearer remus tells us it's time he should be heading to the shrieking shack.
"let me come with you rem" i plead holding his soft, small hand in mine. i notice it's shaking like a leaf from nerves.
"no pads. i'm sorry, i know you're trying to help, but i'd never forgive myself if i hurt you. thank you though" he smiles weakly before leaving the common room.

my heart aches. i cant let him hurt like this.
"james can i borrow your invisibility cloak?" i ask,
"don't even worry about it" james smiles, passing the silky piece of fabric to me.

as i wind my way around the castle i wonder how remus does it without the cloak. filch is like a hawk and do i even need to mention peeves? i suppose he's had a lot of practice, though that thought doesn't lighten my mood. i reach the window of the shrieking shack just in time to see remus' tear stained face before he begins to transform.

so much screaming. so much pain. i don't even notice the tears that are falling down my cheeks as i watch the boy i love wail into the night. he rips at his skin as his cries go from human to monster.
except he's not a monster. he could never be. not to me.

i listen to his howls all night, the scrabbling of him trying to get outside. i don't even feel tired when the sun begins to rise, marking remus transforming back. i hear a human scream in the shack and run in to find him sat naked, shaking, and crying. my heart fully breaks.
"remus?" i whisper removing the cloak. his head whips round, his bloodshot eyes meeting mine. i look at his upper half to see it raw with cuts and bruises.
"s-sirius?" he sobs "w-what are you doing here?"
i walk over to him, slipping off my black school robe, i wrap it round his shoulders.
"shhhh shhhh" i rub his back as he snuggles into my chest, his heart beating at a rapid pace.
we just sit there. in silence as he slowly begins to calm down.
"i love you" he mumbles into my wooly jumper.
my heart jumps. surely he means it as a friend.
"i love you too rem" i whisper, trying my best to comfort him.

suddenly he sits bolt upright and starts tracing his finger down my jumper.
"no siri. you don't understand." he whispers swirling his pinky finger around a loose thread "i mean it"
i gulp down my pride.
"so do i"