short stories → wolfstar

meeting the brother 2/2

regulus

instantly, i see my brother's eyes homing in on me, his grey iris' look as if they are on fire with rage. i heard everything the howler from our mother said, and by the look of pure fury in sirius' face i know he thinks it was me who let slip.

quickly, i leave the hall. i don't want sirius making a scene in front of the school for the second time in 5 minutes.

i've barely gotten out the door when i feel someone grab my arm with a great deal of force.
"how could you!" sirius practically spits out at me.
"sirius i-" but he doesn't even let me begin to explain.
"i trusted you!" glassy tears begin forming in the corner of his eyes. for a second, they put out the fires of his anger and replace it with pure hurt. "i really trusted you regulus"
"sirius i would never tell her!" i start to feel my own throat tightening with each syllable.
"you're the only person regulus!" his lips start trembling "i love remus and you've ruined it!"
"sirius i'm sorry she found out, but she didn't find out from me!"
this seems to tip him over the edge.
"THEN EXPLAIN HOW SHE KNOWS!" he sobs, no longer containing the tears "i thought i knew you reg"

i cant believe my own brother doesn't trust me. he's the only person in the world i love but he's clearly not who i thought he was
"i thought you knew me aswell"
sirius has really hurt me this time. i could accept being accused but this... this is unforgivable.
"fuck you" sirius splutters before storming off, leaving me in a pool of self pity.

i know he's hurt, but i would of been there for him. i would of stood by him. i would of helped.

but not anymore.

all i know now is, sirius will never forgive me and i'll never forgive him.

                                  remus

sirius is getting worse and worse by the day. he won't eat, he won't sleep, he barely even talks. his beautiful rosey cheeks that always bared a big grin are now pale and emotionless.

regulus was the only family he trusted, the only family he even liked and with him gone it was a bit of a kick in the teeth. and yet something inside me tells me it wasn't regulus. maybe i'm just being naive or completely stupid but he just seemed too genuine and too kind to ever hurt sirius.

today was what promised to be a normal wednesday afternoon. potions after lunch for me and care of magical creatures for sirius. sirius gently kisses me good bye and smiles weakly before turning his back. deep down i know his heart isn't it it. after their argument, regulus turned back into his reserved, uninviting, quiet self, and to everyone's surprise sirius followed him. he no longer laughed or played pranks on an evening, instead he'd just sit and stare at the fireplace, watching the embers slowly sizzle.

i open my potions door to be greeted by a jolly professor slughorn.
"hello mr lupin!" he exclaims in his usual jolly tone.
"hello professor" i smile "not late i hope"
"not at all my boy! you're not a black! those two boys are never on time for lessons now are they! their mother is constantly asking me to keep her updated" he chuckles before getting into the lesson.

you're not a black. his words ring in my head as i add lacewing larvae to my bubbling cauldron. their mother is constantly asking me to keep her updated...

"sorry to bother professor" i say as the class piles out the room, "but are you particularly close with walburga black"
he looks up at me with two shocked grass green eyes.
"good heavens no! she only sends me owls asking how her boys are doing." he leans in closer "i think i'm the only hogwarts professor she trusts if i'm being honest" he whispers
"so... what kind of things do you tell her?" i ask, a hunch forming with every word.
"well i often keep her updated on regulus being to top grade student he is. and sirius... well i've not had the pleasure of having sirius so i just tell her smaller things. like how you two are a couple. how very happy i am for you both by the way"

ah hah!
"well i better be off" i smile to myself "ill see you next lesson. thank you so much"

all i know now is i have to find sirius. and quickly.

                                   sirius

my blood turns cold, it feels like i'm breathing in honey. i don't know how to react. to feel guilty, happy, annoyed, worried or relieved? all at once i suppose.
"so... it wasn't regulus...?" i say my heart thumping like a drum.
"no, no it wasn't. it was some stupid misunderstanding"

poor regulus. the way i treated him... the things i said...
i know exactly what i have to do.
"i'll see you in the common room later" i say with more energy than i've felt in weeks. i can see the excitement in remus' eyes as i kiss him on the cheek and race to find my little brother.

it doesn't take long. i find him by himself in the corridor to the library, he looks so dejected and downcast it breaks my heart.
"regulus!" i call making him stop in his tracks
"what do you want?" he snarls miserably
"i've... i've come to apologise"
"and why's that?" his grey eyes show no sign of forgiveness.
"i was wrong to accuse you regulus"
"YOU WERE WRONG TO NOT TRUST ME" he bellows, making me flinch. i don't think i've ever seen regulus this angry.
"i'm sorry" is all i can manage to say
"no your not. you've just been waiting for the opportunity to drop the family name. to drop me."
"what? no!" i scramble for words "you don't understand"
he turns his back on me, showing me that it's the end of the conversation.
"reg, regulus! please let me explain-"
"don't you ever speak to me again" he snarls walking away.
"regulus wait!"

my heart doesn't just sink, it plummets.
i've lost him. i've lost my baby brother forever. it's all my fault.