#justfeelings

#special

I remembered the guy I used to
spend my time with.
he was unlike others,
that much was for sure.
he treated me like I was special,
and I did too.

my heart often fluttered the way the butterflies in my stomach would be jealous.
sometimes we talked about our day,
well, usually about my day because
his day wasn't as colourful as mine
but I didn't mind.

I understood what he was going through.
most of the time we were happy.
sometimes though,
on one of those bad days,
I tried to be as cheerful as I could,
hoping that I can cheer him up.

haha, I suddenly remembered that cheer up was one of our catchphrase because we told that to each other so much.

he was definitely someone important to me.

the way he talks,
how he never forgets,
to say he misses me,
he always make sure that I feel appreciated.

it was great spending my time with him and I truly hoped that we could keep things the way they were.

alas, it didn't happen.

"find someone else, someone better than me," he said it almost every time we were talking.

I chose not to listen anyway–
how could I??
there was no one else like him.
I always knew I would lose him one day,
even sooner than I would've prefer.
that's why I wanted so badly to be his best friend and I did,
I was his best friend.
nothing more,
even when we both knew we wanted something more than friendship.
there was a spark between us,
I felt it.
he felt it.
we just left it hanging.

until one day, he simply disappeared and before I knew it, he was gone.
and just like that, I lost a big part of myself.

dedicated to the one who will remain forever in my memory. wherever you are, it is somewhere peaceful, you will never feel any pain. I am completely letting go of your death now. I will miss you.

always.

(Poem by cloudsuwu)