Fire Alarm // Luke Hemmings AU

Chapitre un. Reminiscence

I threw down my bag. Collapsed onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

The same old popcorn ceiling, the familiar lighting, the familiar patterns I knew so well, and that familiar stain in the corner..

I remember when Shannon made that stain. It was a congratulating opening of a bottle of champagne, and she'd just so happened to get it onto the floor. After countless amounts of apologies she swore that she would pay for my whole apartment to get re-carpeted when she got the money, but I know for a fact she won't be getting any soon. Her job wouldn't allow it, and it was just simply unrealistic for her to get any sort of income right now. Thinking back, I'm surprised how she could even afford the bottle.

I wasn't mad though. I admit I was a little upset when it happened, but the grubby, malodorous, brown carpet was in need of replacement prior to the accident anyway.

Shannon wouldn't be able to earn any money to pay for the things she needs. Let alone pay for a new carpet till she makes her name known to the public and sell some of her artwork.

'The privilege of struggling artists is the life being buried in what we can't really afford.' Shannon would say, making light of the real situation in her usual hopeful way.

I would hope now that she would be more cognizant of her actions since I last saw her, but if not she would always be welcome to come visit or stay for as long as she needs.

We were in this together. We always were.

"Annika you have to stop worrying" Shannon said fiddling with the plate of food in front of her. I placed my fork down, and wiped my mouth with a napkin. Trying to hide how upset I actually was.

"I can't.. I can't risk screwing this up." setting my hand on the table I clenched my fist in frustration.

"You need to stop worrying over the future, and live in the now."

"I can't."

"Stop saying you can't!" she said raising her voice, making me pry my gaze off my empty plate and into her hazel eyes.

"I know for a fact you can! You made it as far as getting your own place, and you even had the ability to take care of me when I needed the help. Last time I checked, you're the one that's paying the bills around here, and that's pretty damn impressive in my eyes. I could never do that.." she said her voice getting softer and quieter by the end.

"I know your sister is pretty surprised you made it this long without help."

The mentioning of my sister made my stomach churn, and I swallowed a lump in my throat. I tried pretending that her last comment didn't effect me as much as it did, and continued the conversation.

"I'ts just, I'm starting to pay too much attention to every little thing I do, and it's causing me to begin obsessing again."

"You should try and fix that then..because I don't like you beating yourself up like this"

"I know."

Turning my head over, I see that my stuffed animal collection was still indeed in the same place I placed them before I left. Now collecting dust.

Maybe that's why I still collected stuffed animals. Maybe they helped me relax, but perhaps they're just a result of my constant obsessions I have with little things that don't matter.

How many do I have again?

Around 49 and counting.

All compiled into one group, kinda like the bills I have to get to after I decide to stop procrastinating. Maybe my sister was right. I couldn't handle living alone, but I refuse to go back home and live under mums roof which include following her stupid rules.