Our Reality (Doki Doki Literature Club!)

Shujinkou's Turbulent Weekend Epilogue

Shiko... I haven't seen you in two days. I thought about calling, but I kinda got the sense that you wanted to be left alone.

Left alone... I really hope that what happened doesn't make you go away like before. I haven't told you because I didn't want you to worry, but I'm always afraid that something will make you go away again.

But maybe I shouldn't worry that much. I mean, you been really happy ever since you joined the club and made a lot of new friends. We've all been through adventures together and little by little you started acting like the Shiko I grew up with again. The person I wanted to see again and the person I knew the others would love. I didn't really think about you making more friends outside of the club, but I'm happy that you were able too. And to think you had doubts that you would be able to make friends. I never really understood that, especially since you seem to have such an easy time doing that.

I wonder if you'll make a lot more friends this year. Maybe you'll end up being what attracts people to our club one day, though you'll probably deny it. Then again, you may win that argument since the people you have brought with you never joined. I know Fuyu can't since she's the President, but I wonder if Rei ever thought about. Also, I haven't gotten around to asking Kiyo either. Um... I'm a bit hungry...

Oh yeah, that reminds me of that one time I stayed at your house for the weekend. You, me and Granny Hisa set up traps around the house like from that one movie. I ended up caught in one of them because I didn't know that the chocolate bar was booby-trapped. I guess I should have known that was too good to be true. I was really embarrassed, but you two assured me that it was just good fun. You even fell into one of the traps on purpose to make me feel better, pretending it was an accident.

After that, we tried making Sea-Salt ice cream. You said you wanted to be like Roxas and eat it as the sunset. Things didn't go so well the first time and we ended up making a mess of the kitchen. Despite the mess, we still had a fun time and laughed it off. We tried a few more time, but we still couldn't get it until Granny Hisa helped us. She got it right the first time just in time to enjoy it while watching the sunset.

We continued to play until it was bedtime. There was nowhere for me to sleep, so we had to share your bed. I still remember exactly what we talked about then: Who was the greater detective? You said it was Batman and I argued for Sherlock Holmes. I said that Holmes was naturally a good detective while Batman had to train for years. You argued back that it makes it better as we can enjoy his hard work paying off. Then I said that Holmes makes his universe a safer place, while Batman's stuck in loop. I was really surprised that you gave up there. I guess if we looked at it from an editorial standpoint, it would be a different argument. Holmes; stories were usually one-offs while Batman is a franchise that is too popular to retire, of course it's stuck in a loop.

We then started talking about our dreams. It was really short since it turns out we didn't really have any then. Then we started talking about our actual dreams. You laughed at the one I told you about where a toaster pastry apocalypse happened. You said it was ironic. Then you told me about a dream you where you were a secret agent. We then decided the next day we would combine those dreams and act out a toaster pastry apocalypse that we had to stop as secret agents. That was a really fun weekend. Actually, things were always fun no matter what we were doing.

Whoa. I really got off topic. But still, it's really been great seeing you happy again and you're even trying to come to terms with everything. But even though that's a really good thing, maybe that's what worries me too. And Mali doing what she did while you're trying to do that is scary. The others seem upset and I know you'll blame yourself like before and that might make you go away again.

I... I really don't want that to happen. I don't want you to go away again. We're finally best friends again and...

I... Maybe if I said how much you mean to me back then. Back then, I used to have no friends and everyone thought I was weird and clumsy. It was really lonely. I was really lonely. But then I met you. You didn't think I was weird. In fact, you were pretty sure that you were weirder. But despite everything, you treated me like I was anyone else. Whenever I got clumsy and messed something up, you always worried about how I was and you never really got mad at me. I felt really lucky to have you as a best friend. I eventually even felt something more than friendship growing, but I knew that it was only from me. But it didn't matter to me that you didn't feel the same way I did. I just liked being around you and hoped that it would last forever.

But then you went away. I understand why you went away, but... losing you made me lonely again. Even lonelier than before. I wanted to respect your wishes to be left alone but I also didn't want to be alone again.

I had a hard time making friends after you went away. To be honest, it's not like I really went looking though. It felt like if I did, it would be like trying to replace you. Monika, Natsuki and Yuri were the first friends I ever made since then. They were able to put up with me and its fun being around them. It was fun, but something was missing. You were missing. You know the rest from there.

I'm really happy that we're best friends again and I'm really happy that you're happy again. I can't say that enough. But I can't stop thinking at times that for one reason or another, you'll go away again. Maybe I'm thinking too hard about this or maybe... Maybe I'm not worried about how you'll end up if you possibly go away again. Maybe... I think I'm worried about being lonely again. I'm afraid of losing you again, no matter what the reason is. Even if the reason is one that makes you happy, I'm still afraid.

I really do feel like it's possible that will happen, and there's nothing I can do about it. I want to be happy for you, but I don't want to be lonely again. I want to be together forever. Maybe if I told you how I felt- How I still feel, maybe that would stop you from going away again. Shiko, maybe I should tell you that I lo

"Sayori?"

"Eh?!" Sayori instinctively shut her journal upon hearing that familiar voice. She glanced up and watched the topic of her latest journal entry walk into her room. "Shujinkou, how'd you get in here?"

"You weren't answering your phone or door and I know where the spare key is," he answered.

"Oh."

"And... you kind of left the front door cracked again."

"Oh..." she nervously chuckled at her mistake as Shujinkou sat on her bed.

"So, how's your weekend been?" he asked.

"It's been great," she beamed. "I got a lot of planning done."

"Planning? For what?"

"A lot of things."

"Oh," Shujinkou awkwardly scratched his right cheek. "Hey, Sayori..."

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" she scratched her right cheek in confusion. "Sorry for what?"

"You were trying to cheer me up after the whole thing with Mali and I was pretty much ignoring you."

"Eh? But you weren't ignoring me; you were in a state of shock. That's totally different," she assured him.

"Well, I just still wanted to apologize. I also wanted to ask you if you wanted to come over and draw at my place."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I made a bet and now I gotta draw Crash Bandicoot. Even though the two have nothing to do with each other, I got the idea: 'Invite Sayori over draw'.

A bright smile formed on her happy face. "Okay! Let's go!"