Our Reality (Doki Doki Literature Club!)

Lost

A soft, warm breeze brushed against Monika's face as she looked up at the bright orange sky above. Thinking back on how she spent the day brought a smile to her face, and yet, it was also slightly painful.

As she wondered why that would be, someone suddenly sat down next to her. Sighing in relief, they presented some ice cream for her to take.

With a smile, Monika accepted the offering. "Thanks, Shujinkou."

"No problem."

Scratching his right cheek, Shujinkou looked up at the distant sky.

"Watching the sun set..." he thought aloud.

"I know it's a bit of a cliché, but I always wanted to try it," Monika confessed.

"What? N-No; I didn't mean it like that. I was just stating the obvious," Shujinkou quickly looked away and took a bite out of his dessert.

There was something about Shujinkou's sheepish response to assuage any possible worry that caused a small giggle to slip past Monika's lips.

But like before, that moment of happiness was accompanied by pain.

"Monika?"

"Hm?" she looked up at Shujinkou's worried face. "What is it?"

"Are you okay? You're..."

The moment Shujinkou pointed at her face, she could feel something hastily roll down her cheeks. Monika curiously wiped her cheeks, realizing that she had been crying.

"I-I'm fine," she assured him. "I honestly don't know where that came from."

Despite her words, Shujinkou wasn't convinced. His right index finger soon hovered over her chest, pointing right where her heart is.

"What about here? Are you sure you're fine here?" he asked.

Monika gently clutched her chest.

"Here...?"

She closed her eyes and pondered his familiar question. She wasn't prepared for him to ask it back.

"I... I..."

"Monika?"

Monika opened her eyes. No longer was she with Shujinkou but in her own classroom looking out of the window.

"Monika?"

Monika looked towards the board. Her teacher was looking at her with clear worry. No, it wasn't just her teacher, the rest of her classmates were looking at her the same way.

"I'm sorry..." she apologized. "My mind just drifted off again."

Though her answer seemed satisfy everyone and drew the attention away from her, Monika knew that wasn't truly the case. Even as she turned her attention back to the grey clouds that covered the sky, she knew the other students were once again sneaking peeks.

But she didn't care. Experiencing the same thing for over a week made her numb to it.

As she continued to stare out the window, she couldn't help but think back to last year. The way everyone stared at her now was very similar to how everyone looked at Shujinkou back then.

I wonder if this is how Shujinkou felt...

Having everyone trying to gather as much information as they could just by watching your every movement or having discussions behind your back theorizing what led to a sudden change in behavior...

It wasn't until now that Monika could understand how Shujinkou seemingly didn't mind it. Feeling the way she did after her experience on Devil's Night made it very easy not to care.