The Secret Muse (#1)

Chapter 29

I'm still debating whether I should read the letters or not. After he declared his feelings the other day, I am now suddenly uncertain about what I should do.

As the letters lay flatly on the table, beckoning me to open them, I couldn't help but wonder what would my father tell me if he was here.

I didn't listen to him before and it has gotten me hurt, now that I can no longer hear his voice I suddenly feel lost. Not knowing what to do, I took all the letters with me and headed straight to the cupola.

When I reached the top, I began to read the letters. All of it bears the utmost urgency to meet me to explain himself and proclaim his feelings for me. Even then, I could form no conclusion as to what I should do. I have yet to give Giuliano an answer.

If I'm being honest with myself, I have truly developed feelings for Giuliano. Things had been going pretty well for the two of us until Lucrezia started to act upon her disagreement. It isn't difficult to like Giuliano. He's the kind of man who's so agreeable it's impossible not to like him even when you barely know him.

Giuliano reminds me of how I have envisioned medieval knights would be. Charismatic, chivalrous, tactful, and honorable. Just like the knights from literature, I used to read, they don't just marry normal women. They pick an advantageous match just like what Lucrezia is doing for his son.

Despite the many dresses that my mother and Aunt Simona have thoroughly provided for me, learning how to make one is something I have been learning recently. With my lack of experience and knowledge, I have been pricking my fingertips with the needle unintentionally.

Making my cloak seems too big of a task for me and I'm so frustrated. However, I couldn't bring myself to give up. I need to finish it now that I have started it. Suddenly, Franzia came into the room with a stoic expression. "Madonna Medici is here to see you." She said then opened the door only for Lucrezia to come in. She left the room and closed the door behind her.

The middle-aged woman, with her dark eyes wandering around the room, her beautiful face then balefully glances my way. She stops by the settee and sits down on it while she arches her brow towards the cloak I'm sewing. "I see you are enhancing your needlework." She then paused and continued. "What an amusing attempt."

Sighing, I place the cloak next to me and stub the needle on it to not lose it. "I'm quite sure you didn't come out here to insult my sewing skills. Is there anything I can do for you, Madonna?" I said as politely as I could muster impassively.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, there is something I would like to ask you to do for me." She stood up and slowly and intimidatingly walked around me like a shark stalking its prey. "When I first saw you, I initially thought you were just an unimportant, temporary woman Giuliano has taken a liking to. A fleeting infatuation he needed before he married. I have never had any problems setting my children a perfect marriage for them until you came into our lives. As you may know, I have chosen a match with Semiramade Appiani for Giuliano."

"Yes, Madonna. How can I forget." I said as I felt my heart feeling heavy as I remembered the dreadful night.

She stops in front of me with a hostile look on her face and says, "Having influence from a Neapolitan lord would greatly help the bank and my family and I would do anything for it to make sure it happens. To ensure it's a success, I want you to leave my son alone. If he proposes, reject him. Break his heart if need be, so long as you stay away from my family."

"With all respect, Madonna, I have been distancing myself from your son. I am very well aware of my place. He is engaged and I am not. If there's anyone in need of reminding, it should be him." I said as I held my hands together on my lap.