The Secret Muse (#1)

Chapter 41

He kept delaying and it's starting to worry me. I do not know what to do. I do not know any other ways to convince him to stay away from the city. As I walked around to ease my anxiety, I couldn't help but wonder why I wanted to save him so badly, and if I were to succeed, what would I do then?

The emerald ring became heavy with its meaning. Am I willing to carry on the arrangement I have already agreed to even when my heart is not in it?

I'm suddenly torn. Should I still save him? Should I let things happen? Deep down, I knew I wouldn't be able to bring myself to marry Giuliano, not when my heart already belonged to another.

Though I do not love him, Giuliano does not deserve to die and I cannot allow myself to stand by and do nothing when I can do something.

Determined, I decided to go to the bank to talk to him. I kept pacing in the room as I waited for him. I haven't been feeling well from all the stress and anxiety I have been putting myself into and now, my belly starts to ache.

I started to rub my belly in the hopes that it would miraculously alleviate the pain. When Giuliano came inside, I was suddenly distracted by the pain. "Is everything alright?" He asks then notices my hand rubbing my belly. "Is something wrong with our child?"

I shake my head no and walk towards him. "A little. I have been feeling quite odd lately." I said, admitting the truth to him.

His face now full of concern, cups my belly and spoke, "We should get you a physician to attend to you then."

"No, Giuliano. It just doesn't feel right after the interrogation." I said, looking down. "I just wanted to be away for a while." When I look back up, he is intently looking into my eyes, eager to listen to me. "Just you and me."

He brings his other hand to my face and caresses my cheek as he smiles. "Alright. If that's what you wish."

Relief washes over me, I couldn't help but hug him tight. "Thank you."

He hugged me back, kissed the top of my head, and spoke. "I wish you would have told me sooner about how you feel. I would have agreed to it the first time you asked."

Smiling as I lay my head on his chest, I could not help but be a little happy. I see a greater chance of him surviving than yesterday.

"I heard this absurd notion of you leaving with my son," Lucrezia said as I packed my things in my room.

"You need not worry. We are going away for a few months before... we get married." I said, lying by the end. I continued to busy myself with preparing as Lucrezia stood in the middle of the room, fuming over our plans she did not expect.

"How convenient. Why must you leave when lent is upon us?"

I wanted to tell her why so bad but I have already messed up so much of history. Telling her the reason why we had to leave will only become another ammunition for her to accuse me of something and quite possibly she'll succeed.

I don't want to end up being burned at a stake for trying to save his son's life. The best way right now is to keep this between me and Botticelli. I have to think of something to get her off of my back.

"Forgive me, but just like you, I'm doing the best thing for my child and after you have managed to have me interrogated for witchcraft, I fear almost anything in this city," I said as my back was still facing her. It's true, it does bother me about my experience in that tower. Kept in the darkness, not knowing if they believed me or if they would persecute me.

Questions upon questions with limited consumption of water and food and sleep-deprived. It is one of the scariest things a pregnant woman would face. It did not matter if it were only me, however, while I'm still carrying my child, I cannot let anything bad happen to him or her.