nineteen; you WERE my safety net✔️

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I RUB MY underarms with deodorant and sit down at my vanity table. I grab my makeup from drawers and apply concealer under my eyes that screamed the lack of sleep I had last night.

The second my friends dropped me off last night, they pounded me with questions, and tried to help me get to eat, shower and sleep but I didn't need them. I tried to push them away from me but they didn't budge.

I dab powder and blush on my face, then apply mascara to my lashes. My eyelashes were already long but the mascara made them look much darker and a lot more fuller—if possible.

I pout my lips once I finish applying lip gloss to my full lips. I look into the mirror and smile. I try to make it reach my eyes but it doesn't. I notice something through my mirror, I see someone opening my window but I can't see their face. I gulp as I grab the closest thing to me, a hairbrush. I tighten my hold around the purple brush and the window opens fully.

The persons left leg is the first thing to come in, and then their other leg. Eventually, their entire body is in. I immediately throw my brush at the culprit and grab my t-shirt that sits comfortably on my bed to cover up my bra.

"Ah!" The familiar person pulls back their hoodie and holds their forehead. My eyes widen when I come face to face with Gustavo.

"Oh my... I'm so sorry!" I shriek as I go on my tippy toes to hold his head, looking for any damage.

"It's fine, I'm not bleeding." Gus swats my hands away from his head.

"I thought you were..." I look away as I don't finish the sentence.

"I know, I'm sorry. I should've let you know that I was coming." He says as he watches me put on my t-shirt.

"It's fine." I give him a small smile and tuck my shirt in with my pants. I tighten the belt around the jeans.

"How are you?" Gus questions, taking a seat on my bed.

"I'm good." I give him a nod but he looks at me suspiciously.

"How are you?" Gus repeats.

"I'm amazing."

He rolls his eyes, "I know you're amazing, but are you okay?"

I walk closer to the male sitting on my bed and lightly lift his head up. I give him the biggest smile I could give.

"I. am. fine." Each word is said slowly and he shakes his head before pulling me closer to him from my waist.

"You lost someone you loved. He's your brother. Ansel is no longer in your life, how are you okay with that?"

"I just am! Can you forget about it?" I move Gus' hands away from my waist and walk away from him.

"Fine."

I grab my pink backpack and shove the book we had to read for English class. I also put my sketchbook inside the backpack and close it. Everything else was in my locker. I spritz Dolce Garden by Dolce and Gabbanna that was gifted to me by Emma after her return from her therapeutic retreat.

"Let's go." I throw my backpack on my back and open my bedroom door. I walk down the stairs and into the kitchen. I make my way to the silver fridge and open it with the handles. I take my bottle out that I filled up earlier today.

"Do you want a bottle?" I ask Gus who leans on the island opposite the fridge. He stares at me, watching my every move.

"No, thanks." He says and I shrug. I also take out breakfast leftovers from yesterday morning. Homemade zucchini bread sits in the fridge, untouched by mother. I made it for myself in times when I'm unable to have a proper breakfast before school.

I cut a piece of bread and open the jar of cream cheese. I spread the cream cheese on the bread and quickly pack everything away once I was done. I feel Gus' eyes on me, and I start to feel uncomfortable but I don't say anything.

"Ready?" He asks and I nod. I take my bread with me and the two of us walk out of my home. I lock the front door and I lead the way to my car that was once for Ansel but once he became on the top of my suspect list for my dad, he had to stop driving it otherwise all the police would have to do is type in the number plate and find him within a couple of minutes.

When I start the car, Gus lets out a sigh and I turn to look at him in the passenger seat.

"Problem?"

"Are you sure you want to be driving your brother's car?" Gus questions and I scoff.

"Yes, why wouldn't I want to?"

"It reminds you of your brother." He shrugs and I let out a small laugh.

"I'm not just going to stop living if something reminds me of my dead brother. I don't give a shit." I argue and reverse out of the driveway. Gus remains silent for the rest of the drive to school. None of us dare to say a word to each other. The only sounds we hear are songs from the radio and the wind from the open window.

Once I parked the car in the schools parking lot, Gus jumps out the car and walks away from me. I watch him make his way towards the school while I sit still just sitting in the drivers seat.

Was it something I said?


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Authors Note:
  It's a bit of a short one for this chapter mainly because I've been writing a couple long ones (like 2000 words) which is the most I've written for this book.
  Idk I want you all to just have a breather from the length chapters, but this also means I'll update the next chapter quicker because this chapter is short!

  don't be shy, tell me your thoughts !

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