ZEN
My eyebrows crease when I hear sounds coming from cellphone. Natutulog pa ako pero naalimpungatan ako sa ingay nito. I lazily open my eyes and reach for my phone. I see Rozend's name on the screen and the time is exact midnight.
Saturday. 12:00 a.m.
Wala sa sariling sinagot ko ang tawag niya.
"What's up? Bakit hindi ka pa natutulog?" paos na tanong ko.
"Sorry. Nagising kita," mahinang saad nya. "By the way, I'm in front of your window. Will you run away with me tonight?"
Agad namilog ang mga mata ko na kanina lang ay inaantok pa. Napabalikwas ako ng bangon dahil sa sinabi niya. "Hey! You should have told me earlier about this! I'm not yet prepared! I'm still in my pajamas with my unkempt hair. Seriously?"
Mahinang tumawa si Rozend. "I'm also in my pajamas. I just wear my jacket on."
"Jeez! Alright. Wait for me! I'll just prepare." I immediately drop the call. Biglang nawala ang antok ko. Naghilamos ako at nagsepilyo habang sinusuklay ng isang kamay ang magulo kong buhok. Nang matapos, agad na nagsuot ako ng jacket. I also didn't bother to change my pajamas.
Nang buksan ko ang bintana, nakaupo si Rozend at nakasandal sa pader ng silid ko. Gusto ko siyang sigawan at batukan pero sumenyas siya sa 'kin na huwag akong maingay. Nakangiting pumasok siya sa silid ko. He's really wearing his pajamas with his gray jacket on. Napansin kong suot din niya ang tsinelas niyang pambahay.
Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "You're running away with that get up?" Gusto kong matawa pero hindi pwedeng maging maingay.
"Can't I wear something comfortable when running away?" nakangiting tanong niya. His eyes twinkle with that idea.
I roll my eyes. "Halatang hindi mo gustong lumayo."
"I don't really want to leave," he agreed. "And right now, I'm also a little scared. What if this is a mistake?"
"Well, we can't avoid making mistakes. I think it's alright. We make mistakes and we learn from it. Ngayon ka pa ba matatakot kung kailan nasira na ang tulog ko?" mahinang pagtataray ko.
He can only smile at me helplessly and gaze at me softly. "Then please run away with me, Zen," he said in a soft voice.
Bahagyang namula ang mukha ko. I suddenly want to assume something from his words but no. Hindi naman kami magtatanan. Ano ba, Zen? 'Yong utak mo!
Inirapan ko siya upang itago ang kilig na nararamdaman ko. "Tara na!"
Dahan-dahan kaming lumabas sa silid ko. Tanging susi ng pickup at bahay ang dala ko. Iniwan ko na ang cellphone sa kama. Nakagat ko ang labi nang buhayin ko ang makina ng pickup at dahan-dahang lumabas sa garahe. Sana hindi magising sina Mama at Papa.
My heart hammers against my chest and I only sigh in relief when we managed to get away from our houses. Maging si Rozend ay nakahinga rin nang maluwag nang makalayo kami.
Pareho kaming nagkatinginan at natawa sa isa't isa. Why are we doing these weird stuffs? But it's nice to have someone who will do weird stuffs together with you. So this is how it feels to run away? We are both scared and thrilled at the same time. But tonight, we are the runaways who don't actually want to run away.
Hindi ko na rin masyadong pinalayo ang sasakyan. We just go somewhere in Serenity where we can watch the stars. I park the car in a wide dry field where we can stargaze.
Bumaba kami ni Rozend sa pickup, bitbit ang makakapal na blanket. Naglatag ako sa likod ng pickup at doon kami humiga upang pagmasdan ang malawak na kalangitang punong-puno ng mga bituin. Balot na balot kami ng makapal na kumot.
The summer wind is cold tonight.
"Zen, tingnan mo 'yon o!" turo ni Rozend sa crescent moon at sa isang bituin na halos katabi ng buwan.
"Sabi ko sa 'yo may nagtatanan kapag may ganyan e!" he says proudly while laughing.
"Sino naman?" kunot-noong tanong ko.
"Tayo?"
"Baliw! Hindi tayo nagtatanan!" giit ko sa kabila ng pamumula ng mukha ko.
Mahina siyang tumawa pero hindi siya nagkomento sa sinabi ko.
We stare in the night sky full of bright stars.
"So do you think they noticed that we ran away?" mahinang tanong niya.
"Kung nagising sila sa ingay ng sasakyan kanina, tiyak alam na nila. But I didn't bring my phone with me so they won't be able to reach me."
"Oh. I brought mine," natatawang saad niya.
Mahina akong tumawa. "You're running away but you still want to be contacted."
He chuckles heartily. "Zen, do you think we are already looking at dead stars?"
Pinagmasdan ko ang mga bituin sa kalangitan. "Hmmm... I don't know. Maybe. We can't really tell because it will take millions of years before their luster and light disappear. And we won't be alive anymore to confirm that."
"How can they shine for millions of years even in death before they totally disappear? I'm so envious of them," mahinang saad niya.
"But maybe they also envy us here," saad ko.
"Why?"
"Because we aren't alone. We aren't burning alone. We are living. We can go to places. But the stars are alone. They are stagnant. They are stuck in one place. They can't cross different galaxies. But we can," sagot ko.
"I don't think we can cross different galaxies. Because we have our limits," mahinang saad niya.
"Hey! Be positive," nakasimangot na reklamo ko. "Why are you saying that? Do you think we belong from different galaxies?"
"You're my neighbor galaxy, Zen," he teases with a small smile. Mahina siyang tumawa at matamang tumitig sa kalangitan. Nagsalubong ang mga kilay ko sa sagot niya pero hindi na ako nakipagtalo. I really can't tell how his mind works. We can't be from different galaxies. I want him to belong in my own galaxy. So he can't leave.
"Zen you said two stars can be reborn as one. How does that work?"
"Hmmm. You see their paths must collide with each other. There must be a collision and an explosion. When they explode, there will be merging and they will become one. These stars are binary stars. But aren't they like soulmates? They are wheeling around each other until they spiral closer and closer together as if they can't prevent each other's gravitational pull. It seems these two stars are so in love with each other that they choose to be reborn as one. They both died in the end but they became one. This sounds like a love story, isn't it? What do you think? Is that a happy ending? Or a tragic one?"
"I'm not sure. But what if that's not the case? What if the other star was already dying and the other one just gave up his own life for the other? So he chose to be reborn again to be with her? As one?"
"Then it's still a happy ending. Because they are still together, right?"
Mahinang tumawa si Rozend. "I guess so. Maybe you're right. It's still a happy ending. And that's comforting."
"It is," nakangiting saad ko.
"And I want to believe that our paths are colliding like the stars, Zen."
Kunot-noong nilingon ko siya. Gusto kong itanong kung ano ang ibig niyang sabihin. Tumingin siya sa 'kin at matipid na ngumiti. "Will you listen to my story now?"
There is sincerity and openness in his bright caramel eyes. And I suddenly become scared. I suddenly want to say no. But if he's being brave now then I can't let him down. I will listen and be brave with him.
***
BINABASA MO ANG
The Universe and Beyond
Teen FictionA girl who dreams to be a painter, suffering from grief and loss due to her best friend's sudden death and unable to move on. A boy made of light and art, her new neighbor. The bonsai tree full of her thoughts, despair, poetry and arts. (June 06, 20...