The Universe and Beyond

Universe 16: Same Sky

ZEN

Wednesday and I already return from school. Napapagod na ipinatong ko ang bag ko sa ibabaw ng kama. It feels like three days are quite long and exhausting. Maybe when you're waiting or thinking of someone, days feel a little longer than usual.

I check my cellphone and read my last message to him. How's your day, Rozend?

And it makes me sadder that he doesn't reply after that message. I want to hate him for not replying but it's not his obligation. What if he's busy? I want to ask him again but I don't want to be a nuisance. How's your day, Rozend? What are you doing now? I miss your sunny glow.

Nakagat ko ang labi ko. So this happens when you miss someone. You suddenly wonder what they're doing. You suddenly want to be a part of their day. And seeing them is already enough to make you whole again.

But I don't want this kind of feeling. I want to be whole on my own. I don't want anyone to complete me because I can complete myself.

But this time, it's different. He steals something from me. And I can't figure out what exactly is that. But maybe I should just let this feeling grow. Because it's a feeling I have for Rozend. And he's one of a kind. He's the sun I need to light up my days. He's the sun I need to be okay. Maybe it's acceptable to give a part of yourself to someone you think is worth it.

Bumuntong-hininga ako habang nakatingin nang malungkot sa cellphone ko. Tiningnan ko ang painting na nakabalot na sa dyaryo. I already finished his painting. I put my all in it. I want to see him smile when he sees it because his smile is the brightest smile I wish to see again.

Halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang biglang tumunog ang hawak kong cellphone. Lumundag ang puso ko nang mabasa ang pangalan ni Rozend sa screen. Bakit kung kailan nag-eemote ako, saka siya tumatawag? Naramdaman ba niya? Telepathy?

Kinalma ko ang sarili nang sagutin ko ang tawag niya. "Hello?" nag-aalangang saad ko.

"Hello, Lola," he cheerfully greeted. And I can imagine his bright smile behind the line. Maybe I'm already losing my mind for thinking of that. It's his fault though.

"Bakit ngayon ka lang nagparamdam?" inis na tanong ko.

He chuckles. "Para mas ma-miss mo 'ko?"

Bumuntong-hininga ako. "Kailan ang balik ninyo?"

"Malapit na," sagot niya.

"Bakit ka tumawag?" Nakataas ang kilay na tanong ko pero sa totoo lang, masaya ako.

"Because... I miss you," sagot niya sa mahinang boses. Napaawang ang labi ko. How should I react? Gusto kong kiligin pero hindi ako pwedeng tumili, 'di ba? Kalma. "My Mom's in the house preparing something. My sister's out to buy food. And I don't have anyone to talk to. I can only think of you."

I roll my eyes. Assuming lang pala ako. "Ah, wala kang makausap kaya mo ako naisip?"

Mahina siyang tumawa.

Kumunot-noo ako. "Pero sabi mo nasa bahay ang Mama mo, 'di ba? Umuwi siya rito?"

"Ah. She's not in Serene. Sa totoong bahay namin."

Natigilan ako. "Kung may bahay kayo, ibig sabihin... wala talaga kayong balak tumira rito?"

Sandaling natahimik siya. "Zen... I... I really want to stay."

Naramdaman ko ang bigat ng boses niya. "Is there a problem with staying?"

"There's no problem with that, Zen. It's something I can't tell you now. Not through the phone," mahinang sagot niya. "But I'll see you when I can. I'll tell you when I'm... ready."