You Are What You Eat (Book One)

Chapter 38

Marshall

I felt like I never stopped moving. It was Mikey's 6th birthday and with Margret a month away from her due date she's rightfully exhausted and in pain. She looked about to burst any moment. While she slept Mason and I went to the store to pick up everything we would need. Balloons, the cake (which was dinosaur themed along with his party) food, drink.

When we got home Margret, Morgan and Mikey were watching Jurassic Park. His favorite. Mikey greeted us first. "Did you get cake?" I smiled. "We sure did. What kind of party would it be without it?" He cheered, going back to the couch and snuggling with Margret, half over her large belly. He loved feeling his baby brother moving inside her. She loved it too. Morgan followed us and helped with the bags. She grabbed so many on each arm I thought her arms would break. "Geeze dad, are we feeding an army?" Mason spoke next, walking back to the car to get the soda. "Nope. Just a family party." Morgan laughed. "Close enough."

Morgan had gotten her learners permit last month and haven't had too much time to actually be behind the wheel. With Margret so close to her due date (and each of our children being born early) I wanted to be close. We try to take an hour or so each day.

Along with the baby being due next month, it was also Mason's graduation party. It'll be a little easier to plan once the baby is born and can enjoy the party without fear of Margret going into labor at said party.

I welcomed the busyness. It kept my mind occupied from the cravings and urges of what I worked so hard to keep buried. Instead of nightmares, I have fantasizes of biting a good meal of human meat, skinning them and wrapping myself in their blood while Margret and I fucked in the blood of the victim.

When I woke up with morning wood or even more embarrassing, wet sheets from a half asleep orgasm, I just lie when Margret sees it and say I was dreaming about her. It wasn't a lie but it still felt like one.

I tried every veggie meat there was to satisfy my appetite. Nothing could compare. I missed it and craved it. I felt the urge to kill becoming stronger each day.

My mother's sister and brother-in-law arrived along with Charles and Beth from across the street. I was feeling caged in. I had to get away.

I nearly ran to our private bathroom, getting my breathing under control, gripping the sink counter with white knuckles.

A few moments later Margret was standing in the door way. "They're back? The urges? "She asked softly. I nodded, feeling like I needed to catch my breath. I looked over at her. "Yeah. They're getting worse." She walked closer, slowly, placing a hand on my back. "Have you given any thought to getting professional help?" I turned to her. "And tell them what? That I miss killing and eating people? I don't think that will go over well." She gave me a look. "Well if you stop that sass for a moment and think creatively you can tell them you're a recovering addict that's having a hard go of it. Which isn't too far from the truth."

I let out a breath. "Maybe. I'll give it some thought." I walked to her, rubbing her belly. She smiled weakly. "One more month." "Probably less than that." She frowned, moving from foot to foot. I became concerned. "You ok?" She frowned. "Yeah. My ankles are killing me. I can't be on them very long without them starting to hurt." "Then let's get back downstairs. Then you're sitting and resting." I helped her down the stairs and to the couch.

"Need any ice?" "No, but a warm rice bag would be nice." I helped her sit on the couch. Betty, my mother's sister who loved to wear glittering clothing and Cousin Beth who stopped talking and starting cooing over Margret about the baby. I said my greetings and left to go to the kitchen, getting a rice bag from the fridge and placing it in the microwave. Morgan, Mason, Mikey and Jake were all in the dining room playing Uno. I smiled seeing how happy they were when I overheard Betty talking to Margret.

"Why would you wear white? It makes you look twice as heavy." I could very nearly feel what was left of Margret's self-esteem start to crumble. She replied, sounding happy but I knew it was a mask. "I wanted something light. It's so warm and I just feel so heavy all the time. It's the lightest maternity dress I have." "It's not bad, white just makes people look heavy. Pinks have always been your color dear." "Thank you." I got some Advil for her as well; taking the rice bag out of the microwave and walking back into the living room were Margret was sitting up with her legs on the couch.

Beth smiled. "Oh here's the dad. Bet you're busy as a bee taking care of her?" "Oh yes but I don't mind. She's creating a human being. The least I can do is get her some Advil." I handed them to her. She took them gratefully as I placed the rice bag over an ankle.

Later we all gathered around the TV to watch Jurassic World. Mikey loved it. When the movie was over though Mikey shot up, doing the pose Chris Pratt did to keep the raptors from attacking. Margret laughed and I could tell she felt a little lighter. Mason, Morgan and Jake only made it better by acting like the raptors. Aunt Betty and Uncle Howard laughed and took pictures. Margret even started filming with her phone.

After a few more moments I got up, picking Mikey up and holding him close. "Rawww! I think I got you!" He laughed. It's hard to believe there was a time when we thought he wasn't going to make it or wake up from that horrible coma. He takes medication each day to prevent Seizures and they work. The one time he had a seizure at school because it was a busy day and he was fussy and we all forgot. We had to pick him up at the hospital, sending him there to be safe.

We all walked into the dining room. "Ok! Time for cake!" I sat Mikey down, the cake in front of him with a picture of a big T-Rex. Cameras were out, candles were on the cake and the happy tune of happy birthday sang throughout the room.

During times like this, surrounded by family, it was easy to be distracted by these urges and cravings. But I can't always have this. If only I could always have this.