In My Idol's Soul | Blackbangtan - TaeLice {COMPLETED}

The Mission

~Taeyhung

"Oppa. Here." Chae said handing me a small pouch, it was very light that I thought it was empty. With my curiosity of what was inside I decided to open it and saw the ring that is really familiar to me, with just one look I already know who owns the ring. A tear suddenly fall as emotions started to build up. I was lowering my head as I felt embarrassed from crying. Lisa was wearing this when she got an accident, I should have been there with her instead of just this ring.

"I just think that you should be the one to keep it. And give it to her again when she wakes up." Chae said half smiling as she lightly tap my shoulder, while I look at her with grateful eyes. I don't know how was she able to know that I gave this ring to Lisa but I'm thankful that she's giving it to me right now.
~ ~ ~

I was staring at the ring that Chae gave me yesterday. Thinking that If I was there with her or maybe just answer her call, would things change? Would she still be at that accident? There are so many what if's and what could have been in my mind. As I think about it, it only made me more sorry. I feel sorry I wasn't with her. I feel sorry cause I promised to answer her call, but I failed to do it. With those thoughts I found myself crying again. There was never a night that I never cried in silent. I always do cry for her, call her name, hoping she can hear me, hoping one day when I enter her hospital room, she's already awake, greeting me with her sweet and precious smile.

I looked at the door when I heard laughter from outside. I walked to it and decided to look for them, I just wanted to join them to distract this sadness. I'm trying my best to feel okay, cause Lisa wouldn't like it when she saw me like this. But the moment I step on the sala their laughter stops in sync, it's as if they know that their laughter annoys me, but it's not. I know they all feel pity on me, I can see it in their eyes and I can read it through their actions. Maybe these days I was just really sad that it made them all to be like this when seeing me. It's kinda annoying, I'm getting annoyed hearing their fake laughs and forced smiles when they are with me. Seeing just one emotion when looking at me, their faces painted sadness and pitiful when talking to me.

They don't need to do this, I mean yeah I am sad but they don't need to hold back themselves from doing what they want just because they're considering how I feel. If they wanted to laugh, then they could laugh, if they wanted to cry then they could cry. They don't need to act up things, I totally understand it.

"Taeyhungie, why don't you join us?" Namjoon hyung said smiling.
I just nodded smiling weakly and sat with them. I now understand why they were all laughing. They were watching the show that Lisa and I was casted together with GD hyung and Dara noona. I smiled as I remember how that day has a lot of funny moments.

I can feel that they are all holding back themselves. They might be thinking that I'm sad watching this show but that's not how I feel right now. I'm happy that I'm watching it, I could again see her smile, I could hear her loud laugh and I could see how pretty she is.

I laughed loudly at the scene showing her doing some crazy things with Dara noona. I can feel that they are all looking at me, they must be thinking that I'm just forcing myself to laugh. But I really am happy seeing her laughing even though it's just on the screen. I want them to know that it's okay if they laugh, it's okay if they feel happy.

"Why you all became so silent?" I asked weakly to them, and decided to look at their faces one by one. A sad smile formed on my lips when nobody answered.

"It's okay. You don't need to hold yourselves back. I know these days you all feel gloomy because of my presence. But I want you to know that it's okay, you can laugh loudly and smile widely even when I'm here." I said slightly smiling looking at them.