SWITCH

7

after work, jaemin immediately went home and dropped on his bed closing his eyes and feeling the pain on his foot. he realized accompanying renjun hiking that day was a bad idea.

renjun already told him not to go since he does that every once in a while, so he's used to it. and since he's used to it, he hikes farther than normal people does, despite his small figure. jaemin followed him, and when he was tired, he stepped on the wrong rock and got his ankle sprained.

he felt bad for renjun of course. hiking is renjun's stress reliever and now he made renjun stressed. other than being grateful, jaemin had always felt sorry towards renjun. renjun took care of him when he's sick, or when he feels sad.

but renjun never complained about it. renjun would gladly help and take good care of renjun. renjun wouldn't even do this if jaemin didn't change renjun. from a gang leader, to soft boy. and if jaemin didn't save renjun's life that day.

jaemin has a lot of scars in his body from helping renjun. since then, renjun decided he would help jaemin in any circumstances. just like how jaemin did.

TW//DEPRESSION !!

and those scars... aren't just because of heroism. he harms himself, too. it's so unlikely for a hero to hurt himself. since high school, jaemin was diagnosed with depression.

from his parents dying and his only brother whom he's very close with, studying overseas. since then, he forgot how to love himself and would see himself as an unpretty human being.

sometimes it's just worst. he doesn't see himself as a human being, and when he does, he searches for something sharp and would continuously scar himself over and over.

the only reason he got their family house sound proof, is for him to scream and sob. he once broke the mirror using his own fists, because he said, he was so disgusted by the look of his own face.

it broke renjun to much everytime he sees jaemin in that situation. everytime he visits and would see jaemin on the ground with blood everywhere and a blade on his hand while sobbing, he would ran as fast as he could throw the blade away and would hug jaemin and rock him back and forth, repeatedly saying, "shh, it's okay, it's okay. it's gonna be okay. everything is going to be okay, nana. shh..."

depression has always been jaemin's only flaw. and it worsen when jeno left. his depression kind of calmed down when jeno appeared. but when he disappeared, it got worse. worse that before. he would have suicide attempts.

since it got worse, renjun took every sharp item away from his house and would bring jaemin's everyday meal.