July 30
3:18 AM
"I didn't know he was going to do that." I was sobbing, I rubbed my eyes and breathed in deeply. "Fuck it, damn me! I'm so stupid!"
"Calm down, Millie..." Yuta said over the line and sighed. "You didn't know, okay? But I wanna know something."
"What?" I sobbed.
"Did you tryna push him or anything to stop him or make him regret what he did?"
I blinked, I suddenly lost my words because I know that I did nothing. My heart dribbled nervously, I sobbed more.
"Fuck." He cussed. "So... you kissed back?"
I closed my eyes tightly as the pain stabbed me and guilt started talking in silence, it made me cry more.
"What the fuck, Millie..." he cussed in a whisper. "What have you done? Why did you kiss back?"
"I-I w-was l-lost! I didn't k-know!" my voice was shaking as my words couldn't explain how bad I feel right now.
"Hell, I don't know what to say. I'm not siding with you, I'm sorry."
I cried. "I understand but what can I do? I don't know, I'm scared..."
"Why the hell would you kiss back? If you were shocked, you'd be stunned at that moment."
I shook my head continuously while tearing up.
"Do you freaking like Layne?" he hissed.
I swallowed and gasped sharply, it was so unexpected. "N-No! I hate him for years after leaving me, how the hell!"
"Well, that's a goddamn answer, Millaray! You're certainly fucking confused!"
My lips parted, I blinked my tears away but it couldn't stop from falling down. I was hurting anxiously.
"Make up your mind, I don't know what to do with you. It's just so fucked up, Millie. Better tell that to Heidden if you don't want another complication between you—"
"But it will!" I said anxiously while sobbing.
"I thought you weren't official yet?" he chuckled sarcastically. "That was the excuse, congratulations! Tell him that you aren't in a relationship yet so you can still kiss anyone else!"
He sounded so annoyed and sarcastic that my chest tightened more.
"Damn it, I'm so fucking sorry," I said in between my sobs.
"It's too late to regret that, just do the fucking confession and tell him that you kissed someone else! I don't know what to advise more but that's better than hiding it! God, Millie! You're giving me headaches!"
My lips trembled. "I'm so sorry, I'm so bad."
"Good you know! Make up your mind, Heidden or Layne—the easiest thing you do is choose who you really want with you before hurting them both or fooling the other! That Layne clearly ruined your peace than how I've seen you with Heidden's issues then!"
I cursed sharply and ran my fingers through my hair.
"I-I love Heidden!"
"I'm not sure about that as how you are not, Millie! You're not different from his ex who was confused but still took him," he sounds so disappointed.
My heart ached badly. I bowed my head on the table and cried more.
