Heidden:
Kuya
Heilder:
What do you need
Heidden:
Are you working?
Heilder:
I'm just here at the office
What is it?
Heidden:
Millie
Heilder:
What is it this time?
Heidden:
Same thing again
Heilder:
She's in love with someone else?
Heidden:
I'm not sure but maybe
Heilder:
It's so late to text me, I can't catch flight tonight
Heidden:
It's alright here
I just want a listener
Heilder:
Does Mama know?
Heidden:
No
Heilder:
What happened?
I mean to Millaray, what did she do?
Heidden:
The man I told you kissed her
They kissed
She told me, she called me and explained everything
Heilder:
So she kissed back? That was surprising
Did she cover it up to make you feel better?
Heidden:
She just confessed everything
I expected impossible things to happen but still hurts
Heilder:
What did you do?
Heidden:
Gave her time to make up her mind and realize what she really wants
Heilder:
Uhuh
That's good
Anong plano mo?
Heidden:
Really nothing
I just feel blank after we talked
read
Heidden:
I think I should slow down for now and make myself better first
Heilder:
You're better
You did nothing wrong, you're just stupid.
Heidden:
I hate when everything's going well then will eventually fallout as if I didn't invest myself, as if everything's just alright to let go without fighting for it
Heilder:
That's what you're lack of, you're not fighting. You just want a battle that runs and you'd chase until the dead end.
Heidden:
Taking a risk is the least thing for me, I'm so tired of being a fucking dog. I don't fight bcoz I already know where I would end up and I don't wanna be double killed without even a little pride for myself, yun na nga lang e.
I don't know what's wrong with me
Heilder:
When you want something and dive in to get it, make sure to go back empty and very consumed-tired to even dive again then rest.
How would you get tired if you're just floating and waiting for the waves to bring you back to the shore?
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Like what you did to your past relationship, you just want the waves of chase with Patch but you didn't do anything to make her stay invested. You just always chase and give up in any thing, maybe that was also one of the reasons why she didn't grow at all-she didn't ever feel you feeding her mind to slowly open around. You were spoiling her to the point she thinks she's always right.
You can't even correct her because you were afraid that she'd be offended, you were afraid of arguments. Now you know why I never liked her? Because she doesn't grow and improve and that's all because of you, too. However, she has her own mind, she didn't use it to improve herself and help you grow too. I hate it.
read
Chasing like dog doesn't make you selflessly in love and martyr, that's stupidity. You will never grow that way.
read
If you really love Millie, give her time to figure it out and if ever she figured out that she likes the other man more than you? Fly to Vegas and fight fairly with him, hindi pa naman sila. She's just confused but she deserves a chance, it's reasonable and acceptable in some ways because you went so fast together.
Heidden:
Isn't that hypocrisy or you being biased to Millie, Kuya? Remember what you advised about Patch?
Heilder:
It's different, they have so many differences especially their ways to handle the almost same issue. Patch made you look awfully stupid in your relationship while she's factly in love with Arlow while Millaray confessed before it reaches years, you weren't officially in a relationship yet. It says so much, it's honesty. That's how she handles her confusion, in a right way without cover ups to be justifiable very unlikely to Patch who used you to see more of Arlow.
Yes, Millie has a mistake but she didn't cover up to make you feel better. She knows to herself that she's confused which is understandable since it's also her best friend while she was in her darkest days that came back while in a process with you.
I'm not siding with her but I'm making some points to be taken at least, this is for you. Stop comparing my advices to people in different shoes, I don't give the same.
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You know you're still special to her and it's not that hard to pull, you already pulled something for months of being with her. All you need now is take a risk, if she rejects you and chose the other man-it's alright, at least you fought and took the risk. May nagawa ka, hindi puro lang habol.
Mas madaling magpagaling pag may sugat, kung wala para kang tanga. Gaya mo ngayon, puro ka tanong kung anong mali sayo-hindi mo alam yung proseso mo mismo.
I know you're mature but idiot at the same time, you think giving up and letting go is maturity. It is maturity if you fought hard and she didn't give you anything but rejection, that's when you should stop and let go. You know your place. Pero yung paraya lang at pagsuko? Katangahan. Di mo alam may panalo ka pala kung sumubok ka kaso hindi, kaya sumuko na lang.
Heidden:
You think it's all worth it?
Heilder:
You answer that, don't be a fucking prideful coward
Heidden:
Tsk, I just don't wanna get hurt over the same thing
Heilder:
Pain is already included in life, you can't avoid it. Kung masasaktan, sagarin na para walang regrets. After that, healing and building up again.
Heidden:
Thank you, Kuya
