Laugh to Death

Blonde Jokes

This is a true story. Yes I'm talking about you Kat!

This happened during marching band season. We were at a home game and my eyes were glued to the field."Bre, how do you open this?" I tore my eyes away from the game and looked at Kat, my best friend( my other best friend is Tammy-her real name is confidential- but she's a flute. Not important :P) I set my clarinet down and saw the water bottle in her hand."Kat! How...? Nevermind hand it here." I took the water bottle from her and opened. "You're such a blonde." I replied. We playfully argued who was more blonde. I swear on my life shes more blonde!!! Don't tell her I said that :) Love you Kat! Funny..shes blonde but shes a brunette with red highlights...

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.

After buying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable". The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, "comfortable?'"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it slow.-

("com-for-da-bul" )

.................................................................................

She was soooooooooooooo blonde...

... she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

... she thought a quarterback was a refund.

... she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order

... she thought Boyz II Men was a day-care center.

... she thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.

... she thought General Motors was in the Army.

... she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

... she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

... under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics".

... she tried to drown a fish.

... she tripped over a cordless phone.

... she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate".

... she got stabbed in a shoot-out.

... she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK".

... they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.

... at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius".