Static Radios and Broken Lights

7: The Honeymoon Phase

WARNING: This chapter contains mildly sexual scenes. Please use discretion when reading.

Cas and I spent a few weeks together, practically inseparable. Sure, sometimes I woke up and he wasn't there, but he was usually back within the hour. He was there almost every time I got into bed because he liked to watch me sleep, and he liked the closeness between us. Even though I was usually unconscious, I really liked sleeping next to him.

Sam was either in the library or his room, or out hunting in the next town over with Garth. Either way, Cas and I were alone.

He was a bit hesitant to be passionate again, usually stopping at just a kiss. A few days into our alone time, though, he came into my room while I was listening to music. I opened my eyes and he was standing there, wearing only pants and a white undershirt.

His jackets were hung up next to mine, his shirt and tie were neatly folded on my desk, and his shoes waited by the door. He seemed strangely naked without them.

I gave him a confused glance for once. "What are you doing?" I asked.

He took my hand and led me to my bed -- with hindsight, I realized he thought that it was only place people ever kissed each other, but in reality it was just more comfortable than sitting on the floor. "Do I have your permission, Dean?" His hands were waiting patiently to touch my arms.

"Yes," I nodded. "But what are you --" He didn't let me finish, and instead pulled me into a gentle kiss. My question faded away as he kissed me, slightly more aggressive than ever before.

He pulled me onto his lap, snaking his arms around me to my back. He pressed his hands gently on the exposed skin of my lower back. I pulled away and lifted the shirt over my head. He watched my movements with an interest.

He kissed my neck, supposedly copying my action from days before. He sucked gently, then more aggressive, even biting a little. I made a small noise that made him smile against my skin. Whatever he was trying to do was working. I felt a throbbing work its way throughout my body, tightening my pants at little.

I hooked my legs around his and pushed him onto his back. He was a little startled, but relaxed when I leaned down to kiss him again. I rested my weight on my elbows on either side of his head, and slipped my tongue into his mouth. He lifted his head, leaning into me. His hands pressed a little harder into my back. I took that as my cue, lifting his shirt and rubbing his stomach down from chest to hips with a flat hand. He tensed slightly, but didn't stop me.

I pulled away from him, looking into his eyes from above. "Are you okay?" I asked. "We can stop, if you want."

He sighed, and nodded almost painfully, like the decision was difficult. I unhooked my legs from around his and moved away from him, standing next to the bed. He sat up and straightened his shirt out, covering his skin again. His face turned slightly pink and he rubbed his neck. "But, thank you," He said shyly.

"You're welcome," I cleared my throat. "And, I'm sorry."

"There is no need to apologize," He said. He stood and stepped towards me, and wrapped his arms loosely around my neck in a hug. I pressed my hands very lightly on his back, then he turned away from me.

I put my shirt back on and suppressed my disappointment. "I think we should probably leave the bunker at some point. I'm kinda tired of being cooped up. How about you?"

I looked back at him, and he nodded, putting on and starting to button up his shirt. "Sure," He said. "We could go see a movie. I like movies."

"Take our minds of things for awhile," I added. He tied his tie back around his neck and slid into his shoes. "I'll meet you in the car. I need to use the bathroom."

"Okay," He nodded, pulling on his jackets. Then he was gone.

I released a shaky breath, one I didn't realize I was holding, and leaned over. I straightened back up and leaned my head back to stare at the ceiling. It felt like God was teasing me with Cas's mood swings. "Fuck," I sighed with a bit of anger. "This whole Great Plan thing sucks, man." I wasn't angry with Cas, not even upset. It was just that every time he said no, it made me want him more. I couldn't help but feel like God was laughing at me. I huffed at him. Well, I huffed at the ceiling. "This just sucks right now, you know? Why do you do shit like this?"

I went to the bathroom and took care of Little Dean, trying to go quickly. I washed my hands and got ready to leave the bunker.

Cas was waiting outside, leaning gently against Baby. "Dean," Cas said.

"Hey," I said quickly. "Get in, let's go find a diner or something." I got in on the driver's side and he was already next to me. I started the car, and looked over at him. He looked like he wanted to say something. "What?" I got onto the main road.

"Do you," He started, then paused. "Are you angry at God?"

I glanced at him. "Why would you ask that? Were you listening to me?" I looked at him to see what he'd say.

He avoided my eyes. "No," He said quickly. "Yes."

I felt kind of violated. What else did he listen to? Had he been watching me? I wondered if he saw me in the bathroom. "How often do you do that?" I asked. I shifted uncomfortably, and he definitely took notice.

"Just," He glanced at me. "Just all the time."

I raised my eyebrows and stared at him slowly. "All the time?" I glanced at the road, but kept my eyes on him. "Do you watch me too?"

He looked away, embarrassed. "I'd rather not say," His cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

"So, yes," I said harsher than I meant. I looked at him and he said nothing to defend himself. "I guess that's fine, a bit stalker-y, but when have you ever not been a stalker?" At this point I was just thinking out loud. "I just -- now that I know you know so many personal things about me, I feel ... left out."

"Left out?" He questioned.

It felt strange to just completely overlook his tendency to stalk. But I didn't care. These feelings I had for him overshadowed anything else. "I know almost nothing about you. Like your true form. Do you even have hands?"

"I don't see why it matters if I have hands," he latched onto that part. "I have a vessel. My vessel has hands."

"That's not the point," I tried to steer him back to the topic. "I just mean that I don't even know what you look like, and yet you know almost everything about me."

"But I can't show you my true form," He said. "You'll burn your eyes out."

I turned into a diner's parking lot, pulled into a spot, and parked. "Can't or won't?" I looked at him.

He glared back at me and shook his head. "Even if you could comprehend, you could go insane. I'm not doing that to you, Dean."

I huffed. "Fine," I grumbled. I got out of the car, and he walked with me towards the diner. I stopped, and he stopped and looked at me. "Please?"

"No, Dean," he pressed.

I let out a resigned sigh, "Alright, alright. Can I have a kiss, then?"

He nodded. I leaned into him and he kissed back gently. He held my hand and we walked inside together.

Word Count: 1342