Static Radios and Broken Lights

10: Explaining To Do

I sat up in the hospital bed, eating a small piece of cherry pie Sam brought me.

Cas still held my left hand, refusing to let go. I didn't complain. He was intently watching me from my bedside, with Sam next to him. They both had concerned looks on their faces.

"So, what happened?" I asked, looking at both of them. "Did the Trickster get me?"

"No," Cas shook his head. His thumb was restless on the back of my hand, and I gave him a reassuring squeeze.

Sam continued, "It was a djinn."

"What's the last thing you remember, Dean?" Cas asked, ignoring Sam.

I searched my head. "Well," I put down my fork. "I was in the bunker common room, and you were sitting next to me," I gestured to Cas. "My nose started to bleed out of nowhere. I never get nosebleeds."

"Yes," Cas nodded. "I was there for that part."

Sam gave him a questioning look."But ... you were right here."

Cas glanced at Sam, but then looked back at me. "I've been trying to heal him for several hours, I had to search his mind to find him first."

"Something did feel off," I mentioned. "It was like there were two of you, Cas. And I kept having weird dreams. But it felt like I was awake."

"You weren't," Cas said. "It was the djinn's trance. He touched you before I could stop him. So I killed him."

"Which is still a stupid decision!" Sam yelled.

"I already apologized for that," Cas stood, facing Sam. "You can't blame me for not knowing!"

"Well, I blame you," Sam said.

Cas took a step towards Sam, but I pulled him back towards me, squeezing his hand firmly. "Guys, please," I groaned, holding Cas's arm hostage against my chest. "Just, cool your jets, alright?" Cas looked back at me, his eyes full of regret. He sat down, and I released his arm but not his hand. Sam was still angry, so he moved to the wall by the foot of my bed, leaning against it. "How long have I been out?"

It seemed like they'd been arguing for years. Sam and Cas never argue.

"Too long," Cas glared at Sam. "Sam wouldn't let me try to heal you until today." He looked back at me but Sam wasn't finished.

"To be fair," Sam grumbled. "I thought you might kill him faster or something."

Cas stood up, and I held his hand tightly. "Give me some credit," Cas threw back. "I've saved or healed both of you several times now."

"Well I was also pissed at you," Sam spat. "You could've gotten my brother killed! You almost did!"

"Cas, sit down," I demanded. "Sam, shut your damn pie hole." I glared at both of them. They backed down from each other and their heads turned in my direction. "Now, I'm still in the dark. You two are fighting like an old married couple, and I've been laying here for 'too long' as you put it. How long have I been out?" I glanced from one to the other. "Answer me!"

Sam flinched and bowed his head. When he looked up at me, he glared, and shifted his angry gaze to Cas. I followed his eyes to Cas, too. If Sam was going to refuse to speak, then Cas had to talk. He met my eyes, glanced at Sam, then leaned in towards me slightly.

"I hope you know I would never marry Sam," He nodded. "I would never leave you."

I patted his shoulder. "It's alright, baby," I widened my eyes. "B -- buddy, I meant buddy." Cas smiled to himself. I felt my face turn red and I cleared my throat. "Just answer the question, maybe?"

I glanced at Sam, who had a classic bitchface. He glared at Cas.

Luckily the awkward moment passed, and Cas spoke up. "You were in a coma for five weeks."

I felt my eyes twitch, and tears pooled in them. My brows twisted together, and I felt an aching sadness in my chest. I put my legs over the side of the bed and reached my arms out. Cas almost immediately crashed into me, putting his arms around my sides and his head on my shoulder. I put one arm around him and beckoned Sam with the other.

He reluctantly walked over, put his chin on my open shoulder, and wrapped an arm around me to my upper back. He patted me a few times, then pulled away.

I looked at him, a little upset, then hugged Cas completely, trying to blink back tears.

-

I was discharged from the hospital and the boys took me back home to the bunker. Well, I guess I took them.

The entire drive there, Cas wouldn't stop holding on to me. He was in the back seat and kept his hand on my shoulder. Sam was quietly watching me from his seat in the front.

When I parked outside the bunker, we got out and Cas took my hand. He didn't let go until I sat down at a table in the common room. I opened up a newspaper and started to read around for case-material. I looked up past the edge of my paper and noticed both of them hovering around, watching me.

"Alright," I folded the paper and threw it down on the table. "What's with the helicopter parenting? I don't need a babysitter, let alone two."

They glanced at each other, then looked back at me.

Cas moved to stand behind me, putting his arms loosely around my neck and making an "x" with his wrists on my chest. His forehead rested on the back of my neck. He turned his head, supposedly to look at Sam, because he was the one who spoke.

"We're just," He searched for the words. "You were practically gone, for weeks. We're worried about you."

I huffed, glaring at him. "I'm not a baby."

"No," Cas agreed, whispering against my skin. I felt a chill run down my spine. "But you're mine. And I refuse to lose you."

His hands clenched into fists against my chest, so hard his knuckles turned white. I placed my hands on top of them, and they relaxed. "Fine," I grumbled, causing Cas to let out a sigh against my skin. Another chill ran down my spine. "Can I at least get a burger if I'm on lockdown?"

"Of course," Cas said behind me. Then his hands were gone, and his warmth only lingered on my skin.

"I guess he's going to get it," Sam said, finally sitting down.

Cas came back a few minutes later with food for both Sam and I. He sat down next to me, angling our chairs towards each other, and trapping one of my legs with his. He sat back and folded his hands on his lap with a small smile. I crossed my ankles together, letting him keep my leg close like he wanted. He watched us eat and stayed quiet.

I didn't bring it up, but I could tell. The calm, neutral expression on his face was an act. Behind his eyes was anxiety. Not that I minded, but he had never trapped my leg before. He wanted to be close to me, and I could feel it.

I kept thinking about what he had said. you're mine.

I let another chill run down my spine.

Word Count: 1245