paraphilia / a.i

rosie

It’s so weird being in here. I can’t go to Julianna’s house with my own car or even go to the drugstore to get nail polish or a chocolate bar. I’m trapped in this hell hole all because of a freak accident. It’s not like it was a big deal anyway. All I did was swerve off the road and bam! Mom thinks I’m trying to kill myself.

I mean I have thought about it. Killing myself, you know. But it wasn’t like I spend all my time thinking about dying and what will happen to me and everyone around me. It wasn’t like I drove off the road on purpose. Damn it, the more I defend myself the more I sound like I’m lying.

The lady at the front desk was kind of nice to me when I walked in. But she spoke to me like I didn’t belong here.

 “Hello sweetie, how can I help you? Do you need directions?” She looked too happy to be working in a psychiatric hospital. Or maybe I just wasn’t used to happy people. But I mean, who is? Everyone has at least one sad person in their life, and if you couldn’t think of one right off the top of your head, it’s probably you. I have no reason to be sad, I really don’t. My parents are rich and take me on glorious vacations everywhere, and buy me presents that are to the utmost level of “extreme’, I have friends, I’m normal. Well, I thought I was before here.  

“I’m checking in actually.” Her face softened and the smile disappeared making me feel worse about being here in the first place. I wrapped my hands together and squeezed them, trying to make the uneasiness go away. She realized after a moment that her face had fallen and quickly recovered, standing up and starting to walk around the counter, closer to me. She gave me a hug, leaving me stunned and my arms failing to move up to return it. A boy laughed behind me as the lady let go of me.

“Welcome to Pine Woods, I’m Jen. It’s going to be wonderful to have you here.” She smiled, her hands reaching up to grab my shoulders.

“Oh, I’m so dumb. I never got your name! What was it again?” She questioned while turning around and heading back behind her desk, clicking the mouse on the computer, pressing random keys. I glanced behind me shortly and noticed a group of kids staring at me with their arms crossed over their chests. I glanced between them all as a knot grew in my stomach before turning back to Jen.

“Rosie Marshall.” I said quietly, my head turning back to the group again. There were probably eight or nine of them, all boys probably around my age, smiling and laughing at something, hopefully not having anything to do with me. The tallest one, probably the most attractive one, was staring directly at me, a slight smirk on his face, his eyes flicking up and down-wait. Is he, checking me out? I glared at him until his eyes flew up to meet mine, winking. I rolled my eyes as Jen started talking to me again.

“Okay, so you moved here from Nevada?” I nodded, tapping my fingers on the counter, hating this place even more and more with each second.

“Alright, your first session will be in 15 minutes. I can either take you to your room now or after, it’s your choice-“

“What?” I interrupted. A session? Already?

“Yeah, we like to get an idea of what we’re dealing with.” I nodded as she laughed and she returned back next to me and started walking down the hallway.

“Alright! Quick Tour! Keep up!”  She said sternly. I picked up my bag, and glanced quickly behind me, making eye contact with the brown haired boy again, he smiled as I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. Jen yelled for me to follow her again, snapping me out of whatever type of trance I was in. 

I caught back up to her leaving the boy behind me. I spent the next 15 minutes tuning Jen out and wishing I could get out of here.

I really need to get out of here. Now.

-rosie