ricky and nini's realizations

chapter 28

ricky's pov

"nini!" i shout as i turn around watching her swiftly walk to her car away from me. i knew that she wasn't going to stop but her name came out of my mouth anyway. i watch as she immediately drives off just after the sound of her car door being yanked shut. i break down in tears roughly tugging on my hair as i stand in my driveway at what just came out of my mouth to her not even a minute ago. i stand in disbelief for another moment, then start walking inside. as i stand at my front door i can hear the tv on meaning that my dad is still up. i don't want him to ask about the tears on my face, so i take a deep breath in and out my nose before turning the door knob. "hey rickster. how was the game?" he asks at the sound of the door. luckily he keeps his eyes on the tv screen. "uh super good. we won. i'm going to bed," i say as i rush up the stairs to my room. "wait up kid! i wanted to wait and make sure you got home, but i gotta go cover a night shift for my boss. is that okay?" he asks me. he doesn't have to go in often, but enough times that i'm comfortable with it. when mom goes to chicago he tends to pick up more shifts. i yell down the stair case trying to deepen my voice, "yep! all good. bye dad!" the second i close my door to my room my chest tightens up so freaking tight and tears fall from my eyes freely. i probably scared her so badly after my answer to her dang question. i didn't even mean to say it. she literally ran away from me. shit. what is going through her mind right now? did i just lose nini? what the hell did just i do? i collapse to the floor against my door just sobbing. i feel like all the air is gone from my lungs. i pull my phone out dialing her number instantly. all i could think was i need nini.

nini's pov

as soon as i get to my room, i go straight to my shower. i need to do something to relax that's for sure. although the whole point of my shower is to ease my mind, that's the exact opposite of what happens. my mind couldn't stop racing. i feel completely terrible for just running off from ricky like that, but he freaked me out. not even that. he seriously scared me. he doesn't like seeing me with another guy? i knew he didn't like greyson after that one talk we had a little while back, but he never said anything about all guys. which is what seriously threw me off. i'm remembering that feeling of panic i felt rush through my body at his words that he was so hesitant to say. holy crap. does ricky have feelings for me?! my whole body freezes at my thoughts. i'm broken out of my mind racing at the sound of my phone ringing. i rinse out the remaining conditioner in my hair, so i can step out of the shower to reach my phone. it had already rang for a little bit that i thought it was about to go to voicemail, so i didn't allow myself enough time to check the caller id. "um hello?" i say into my phone. "nini," i hear my name said with a gasp of air. i couldn't make out the voice. i don't say anything right away. i keep the phone to my ear as i turn off the water to the shower for better hearing into my phone when the voice speaks again. "nini help," i hear ricky's voice say. my heart instantly drops, "what's wrong!" i start moving around my room to grab clothes to throw on and look for the shoes i kicked off somewhere when i rushed in frantically earlier. "i-," "ricky what's going on," i rush my words through the phone, but maintain a calm voice. "can't breathe," he completes his sentence. without thinking i rush down my stairs and burst through my front door to drive to his house. not even thinking to notify my moms that i assume are sleeping. the three minute drive felt too long. i kept ricky on the phone, but no words are said. "i'm pulling into your driveway," i tell him so he expects me. i rush to his front door and it's locked. i stressfully tuck my hair behind my ears to think. i jog to the back door instead praying that it's unlocked.

ricky's pov

i sit with my phone held so tightly in my hand that my knuckles are turning white. i try repeatedly to breathe, but it feels like my throat is starting to close. i hear the click of the phone keypad buzz signaling that nini ended the phone call. fuck. i just start to sob uncontrollably from my lack of control over my body right now. it feels like slow motion when nini sprints into my room bending down in front of me. just seeing her after what was said earlier already makes me feel better. i feel her pry the phone from my hand and replaces my empty hand by holding it with hers. my eyes blur from the tears. at this point, i have no control over myself, so i'm just trusting that nini can help me. "ricky you're okay," i hear her say as i feel her soft hand brush my curls off my forehead. then move to my cheek to wipe some tears. "i'm not nini," i let out in the most pitiful sob. she scoots closer to me and i clutch her hand tighter. "just breathe in and out slowly. i'm right here," she tells me softly. she uses her free hand to play with my curls. i know it's to distract me, but it works anyway. i don't care how wrecked or broken i look right now. i just want nini with me after having the feeling of thinking that i lost her. i hate that i'm acting over dramatic, but i can't bear the thought. i start to gain control over my breathing after a few minutes.

nini's pov

i notice that ricky isn't fighting to breathe anymore, which was so scary to see him like that. "what happened?" i ask him referring to what triggered a panic attack like this. i don't get a response, instead he leans his head forward to my chest. he starts crying really hard and i haven't seen ricky cry since we were little. i release our hands and wrap my arms around him so quickly. my heart is breaking for him in this moment and there's nothing i can do for him to help. i rub his back with one hand and use the other to play with his curls that i love so much. that was probably more for me than it was for him. he keeps his forehead against my chest for a little bit then slides up to rest his chin on my shoulder bringing us into a hug. "ricky what's going on? what can i do?" his sniffles signaling to me that he's still crying some. his arms tighten around my waist as we just sit on his floor. "please talk to me," i ask him. "i'm sorry," he says crying a little more. "for what?" i ask him confused as to what he could possibly be sorry for in this moment. "for how i acted earlier," he says lifting a hand to wipe his face. i sigh, "i think today was just a lot. you know? let's just forget about the chaos of this evening and go to sleep," i suggest to him. my suggestion kinda leaves everything up in the air between us after our argument tonight, but i don't care. he just needs to relax and go to sleep. he doesn't let go of me, "how about we have a sleepover. it's been a while since we've had our usual friday nights," i tell him to make an attempt at lightening his mood. "that sounds good," he says releasing his grip from me. i use the sleeves of my hoodie to wipe his tears once we're facing each other, "let's go downstairs and watch marvel movies," i tell him more as a suggestion. after a few minutes, we both end up on his couch covered in loads of blankets watching iron man to fall asleep to.