ricky and nini's realizations

chapter 47

nini's pov

i talk ricky down from his over thinking and he's finally seconds away from falling asleep. i snuggle into him knowing that i won't be moving anytime soon. he mutters something in his sleepy state that i didn't catch, "huh ricky?" i ask him, but he's already out. i stop my assault on his all too perfect curls that i'm a sucker for and relax in hopes of falling asleep along with him to pass the time. some time passes and i recognize the rubbing on my back as ricky's habit for me prompting my eyes to open. "did you sleep for a while?" i check with him. "i don't know the time, but yeah i slept. you don't need to worry," i say with a tired smile that she can't see. "how's the pain?" i also check. "not as bad with you here," he says. "haha very funny," i sarcastically respond. his chest vibrates with a laugh that i'm sure hurt because he stopped immediately, but i didn't comment on it. "i was being serious," he tells me. "mhmm," i nod against him. i sit and move behind him no longer wanting to be laying down. i sit next to his head to play with his curls in hopes to relieve an ounce of the pain, "hey ricky." "hm?" he lays in the same position with his arms crossed letting me do what i want to his hair. "what did you try to tell me before you fell asleep. you said it in a mumble and i wasn't expecting you to speak, so i didn't catch it. "i don't remember saying anything," he responds nonchalantly. it must not have been anything important then. i thought he might've needed some more medicine or me to do something for him while he was asleep. he stiffens beside me catching my attention, "you okay?" he clears his throat scrunching his eyebrows. "i-uhm," i must've just meant to ask for medicine. could you get me some," he asks out of nowhere, but i don't question him needing pain relief. i hop up to go to the medicine cabinet in the kitchen. i look over at him after i've grabbed the bottle and am pouring the correct amount of pills into my hand. i take notice of him stressfully rubbing both of his hands over his face and then pulling away scrunching his face up tightly. i scurry back over to him with the pills and a glass of water in my hand, "what's the matter?" he jumps at my voice causing me to look at him confused. "n-nothing my head just hurts." "i silently hand him the pills and water and support him in sitting upright. "nothing else is wrong?" i double check. he lays back down without answering.

ricky's pov

i didn't say it. there's no way i said that. and i almost let it slip like that? what is wrong with me. i'm not ready for that. i crash back into the couch cushions making a sharp pain jolt through the back of my head, "ah," i gasp and wince at the same time. "you've gotta be careful," she says worriedly bringing a hand to my head as a response. "i'm fine," i state. it came out harshly and that was not my intention. i open my eyes to look to nini. she's looking down to the ground kneeling beside me. she starts to stand up. i don't think she was going to leave, but she definitely wasn't going to sit back down with me. she's probably going to distance herself from me right now, but remain here at my house to keep an eye on me. i shoot my hand out to her arm, "i didn't mean to say it like that." she doesn't move any closer, "is something else wrong?" she asks with a straight face. "no, it just hurts. i didn't mean to snap at you. i'm sorry nins." i let my overthinking guide my actions once again. she nods her head understandingly. i seriously don't deserve her. "will you lay back down with me?" i plead. she nods her head. we spend the afternoon with her starting her homework as she massages my head and i deeply think about the words i love you leaving my mouth so effortlessly.