ricky and nini's realizations

chapter 55

ricky's pov

nini's pulls back from me sniffling and i know she's trying to stop her tears. i know she wants nothing more than to flee from this house and believe me i know the exact feeling. i don't want to leave her side now. i can rightfully assume that the date is definitely off of the table for today, but i don't want her away from me especially after my mom's disgusting behavior towards the girl she's known since she was a baby. i don't know what's wrong with my mom, but i don't want nini to hate me. that might sound extreme, but those quick series of events i can see her not wanting to come around me or this house which hurt. it's hurt so bad. "i'm gonna go home ricky," she says pulling her keys from her pocket. now i feel like it's my turn to cry, but i fight the urge to. "can i come? i-i know you probably don't want me to and just want to get away from me," "ricky," she says rubbing her thumb on my wrist, "i don't think that's a good idea." i know it's because my mom's stupid words are still in her head and now she's probably worried about what else my mom could say to her. i blame my mom for nini not letting me go home with her right now. i feel the anger come back to me after feeling nothing but sadness for nini. but had my mom not told nini that she was a bad influence on me, i guarantee nini and i would be in her car right now. her home is my safe haven and i'm aware of that. even nini wants to get away from here to feel safe in her own home. but no, now nini's worried about what else my mom will say or do. a single tear drop falls, but i use my shoulder to get rid of it hopefully before nini noticed. "i'm sorry," i choke out as a response feeling terrible about all of this. she grabs both of my arms but my biceps while pushing against my front, "hey, stop. i don't want you apologizing anymore. you haven't done anything. i'm just gonna go. k?" she tries to confirm with me. i nod my head feeling like an idiot that the entire day is ruined and went absolutely insanely bad. she walks across the driveway to her car as i stay standing in place. she doesn't spare me another look which really freaking hurts and the anger begins to boil in me for my mom. once her car has left the driveway, i march back inside. of course opening the door to hear screaming and shouting. i'm prepared to say so many words to her, but i stop to listen granted they're both so heated they don't notice me just standing in the entryway. "why does she have a key to my house!" "ENOUGH," my dad shouts loudly in his angriest tone i've ever heard causing both my mom and i to jump. he goes on, "she is a nice young lady who is good for my son." my mom scoffs, "our son!" my dad doesn't let up like usual, "let. me. finish!" she actually shuts up and waits for him to speak. "she's been a friend to ricky since they were little kids running around on play dates. she's not going anywhere. don't sit here and condemn her or EVER speak to her in that manner again. she does nothing but support him in literally everything and even took care of him when he was severely injured. that's when you, the mother, is supposed to care for him. but she did. and she did it with nothing but love and patience. so don't give me crap about her. and especially don't call her sickening names that don't even remotely describe her. she's a well rounded young lady and ricky likes her and so do i. so don't come into this house and try to ruin another relationship. he has a good thing going with her and you're not gonna ruin that for him!" every single thing my dad said made me want to run to nini even more and feel even worse for how my mom must've affected her. everything he said was true. i rush up to my room and lock my door. why does my mom mess everything up all of the time. i catch a glimpse of myself in my mirror and start to cry seeing the clothes i was in. today was supposed to be our first date as boyfriend and girlfriend and everything was going amazing. i rip off my clothes and throw on the ones i slept in feeling nothing but awful. i don't care how pathetic it must sound but i cry into my pillow wishing that my mom never showed up this morning. a perfect way to turn the most perfect weekend into the worst it could be.

nini's pov

after i got home this morning i went straight to my room feeling torn down and humiliated despite ricky's affirmations. it didn't compare to the ambush i walked into when i entered the bowen's household. i wanted to disappear, but the more i think the more i realize that this is ricky's life every time his mom decides to show up. and my heart breaks for him. he deserves none of it and i can't imagine his side of things. i cuddle into my comforting bed with my ukulele for hours. singing through songs that came to my head to distract myself as much as i could. my moms eventually call me downstairs for dinner which i dreaded because i wanted the comfort of my room, but was also reminded of how grateful i am to have moms like them. i hop down the steps to meet them at the table. "hey mommas," i greet. "hey little miss. whatcha been doing all day cooped up in there?" "oh just watching tv and playing around on my ukulele." "i thought you were going out with ricky today?" momma c questions. i think quick never ever wanting to bring up the events of the day to them for so many reasons, "oh yeah we were. but we decided to go a different day," i say nonchalantly. "why's that?" momma d asks me. "we just thought it would give us something to do for next weekend," i say hearing the dumbness of it, but hoping that it comes across as a good enough answer. "oh okay," both moms answer. we enjoy a nice meal together talking about how i now have a boyfriend, school, and got to talking about kourtney. i hide myself back in my room after eating and choose to give ricky a call. i'm hesitant at first because i worry that lynne would hear him on the phone with me and get angry. or just something. my mind comes up with a lot of scenarios, but i wanted to check on him before the day was over. i wait as the phone is ringing beginning to think he might not answer and that was okay, "hello," he picks up just before it's bound to end. "hey," i say not having an idea of where i wanna take this. he's silent for a moment, "what are ya doing?" he asks really awkwardly. i just know that he doesn't know any better than i do in terms of directing this conversation in some kind of direction. "i just had dinner with moms. what are you up to?" i ask knowing i'm not gonna get much of an answer. "nothing," he replies leaving silence between us again. "are you okay?" i ask quietly feeling like saying it any louder would make this worse. his voice changed to being quieter too and comes out with the saddest tone that just hurts my heart, "i want you." my heart swells with sadness knowing that he's cooped up in his house and i'm unaware of how lynne has been the rest of today in the bowen house. but i need him to explain what i'm supposed to do because i dont know what he wants by that, "what baby?" his voice cracks telling me that he's on the verge of tears or is already crying, "please. can i come over now? i know you don't want me to, but-," "hey, no. ricky baby of course i want you here or just," i huff out a breath, "with me. but i'm not gonna further upset your mom." i just wanna hug him right now and make him understand that i'm not upset with him in the slightest. "i want you nini," he repeats fighting for words to come out feeling at a loss. the words come out so pitiful in the most heart breaking way. "do you want me to come get you?" i ask him giving him the okay to come over. "can i walk over?" "whatever you want." he breathes a sigh of relief, "i'll be over soon. thank you." we hang up and i go down to my moms' bedroom, "uh hey moms," i say getting their attention. "ricky's on his way over. and he's not exactly doing too good. can you just make sure to not come up to my room or anything. gosh i know that sounds bad and rude, but i just wanna make sure he's left alone i guess. his mom came home today," i add in the final detail and they look at each other knowingly as if they knew more than i did. "sweetie that's fine. well stay in here tonight it's getting late anyway. just let us know if you need something." "thanks for understanding. love you moms."

general pov

ricky texts his dad the moment he hangs up with nini still up in his room. "i'm going to nini's," not asking for permission just wanting to make sure his dad knew where he went while avoiding his mom at all costs. he successfully makes it through the front door and begins his walk to nini's. he shoves his hands in his pockets balling up his hands into tight fists to attempt suppressing his emotions. the tears had stopped, but only because he's doing everything in his power not to show up on her doorstep looking like an idiot. he picks up his pace trying to get to her house as soon as he physically can not being able to take being without her anymore after the events of today. he knocks on the door firmly needing her to get to the door, to him. she swings the door wide open knowing it was him and her face washes over in pure sadness for this boy that's represented in his head hung low, the nervous look written all over him as his mouth hangs a little bit open not sure what to do, and his red stained eyes. her emotional expression causes his tear free fall in front of her as his face scrunches tightly together making nini rush forward to engulf his body in her embrace. his body reacts immediately to her touch keeping his eyes glued shut as he holds her strong against him. "i'm here. it's okay," nini coos rubbing his back. he nuzzles his face further into her neck. he doesn't respond instead he lets himself be consumed by the feeling of nini's touch. "let's go to my room," she says pulling away from him and slipping her hand into his. he follows wordlessly taking deep breaths as she leads them to her room. immediately she pulls him into her bed to lay down and simply relax. they end up laying on their sides face to face while pressed together. ricky absentmindedly plays with her fingers in between them. "do you wanna talk?" nini asks him not caring which way his answer goes just wanting him to calm down and feel better. his breathing returns to normal with the sporadic sniffles and quiet tears by the time he talks, "she's just always so awful. and i hate that you saw it. i wish you'd have never seen her act like that. i hate it nini. and then on top of what she said to you. i can't even begin to understand her behavior towards you. and i'm so so sorry," he says his running thoughts aloud to her as she nods along watching his face intently. she slips a hand up to his cheek lightly rubbing back and forth on his cheekbone making his eyes flutter close, "no more apologizing," she whispers back. "i'm so sorry that you feel this way ricky and you're going through this. i never knew it was like this for you and your dad when she comes back into town." he nuzzles his face closer to hers if that's even possible. as she takes in his vulnerability he's displaying with her, she comes to realize that she just might love this boy finding the words at the tip of her tongue.