Save me Alpha

the real me? without him

The walk home felt even more lonely than usual. Too bad for me the walk home from school was only ten minutes. My father was standing outside by the car.

Am I in trouble? I hurried my pace and stopped in front of him, keeping my head down.

"Father" I said unsure.

I heard him sigh. I looked up, he had a bag in his hand. Can it be?

"I have to go away for work."he says. I nodded.

"H....how long?" I always studder around him. I couldn't help it. He scares the living hell out of me.

"I'll be gone a week, possibly more. Keep the house clean no one over you know the rules." I started shaking uncontrollably.

"Yes sir." He didn't waste anymore of his breath on me. He put his bags in the back and got in. He drove away.

He....he's really gone. I wasn't sure what to do. Most kids would throw a party or invite a friend over. Me? I was just happy curling up on the couch and watching tv.

No physical or emotional abuse. No words or punches. I looked around the empty house. I felt emotionally drained. I climbed the stairs and jumped into bed. Before I fell asleep my last thought was, Maybe it can get better.

************************************

                    The next morning

I woke up before my alarm went off. That never happens. I jumped in the shower and quickly washed my hair and body. Today was unlike any other day.

I was almost happy. I decided to dress up today. I pulled on my long sleeve dress and my leggings. I put on light foundation since my bruises were almost gone.

I grabbed my bag and walked out the door. The walk to school still felt lonely but I'd take that over a ride with him anyday.

I got to school just as the bell rang. I hurried to class. Seth caught my eye first thing, but I passed by him and sat down in the back.

I could feel their stares. I kept my head down. Distance Alex.

"Alex" I heard someone whispering my name. I ignored them. Class after class I avoided them. It was exhausting.

When the bell rang I headed to gym. I didn't even bother changing. I can't play sports with my arm.  I chose to read.

I love reading but barely get to around dad. All though out the class I could feel them watching me. I was afraid to look up. What if It's him?

At lunch I didn't even go into the cafeteria. I walked in the other direction. I chose the library. I sat down and pulled out my book. My now quiet life.

After school I did something I hadn't done in years. I stopped at the park by my house and sat on the swings. I didn't have much of a childhood.

I swang my legs back and forth. The wind blowing through my hair. I felt alive for the first time in along time. I let myself go and I heard myself giggle.

Is this what I'm really like? Without him? I smile to myself.