Starfall - Our last call

A change of heart

"I-I can't fucking do this anymore!! I need it all to stop!!"
I choke out
"I know Zach, I miss him so much too.. he was my best friend.."
I can't form thoughts, I feel like my brain is going to explode. I can't breathe.
"Deep slow breaths Zach."
"E-Every thing hurts!"
Candy hugs me tighter,
"Breathe."
I try my best to slow down my breathing, it takes me a minute but I remember the breathing technique my therapist told me about, you close your eyes and imagine a feather in front of you. When you inhale, the feather rises a few inches, when you exhale, it descends. I do this, and it helps me a lot, I'm going to start using this more often..
"If you want to talk about the dream I'm here to listen." I nod and candy retracts from our hug and looks at me waiting for me to start talking.
"It was about Milo, we were in our old apartment but everything was black and white, he was warning me about the trip that there would be a traitor, and that even though I've been making dumb decisions he's still proud of me.. then i went to hug him but he started to cough up blood, then I fell through the floor into water.."
Candy looks sympathetic.
"I'm sorry that happened, I used to have a lot of nightmares too, it sucks."
"Do you need water or anything?"
She asks me
"water would be nice actually."
"Ok, I'll be right back."
Candy smiles as she gets up and walks out to get me some water, it wasn't just me and candy who got a lot of nightmares, Milo did too.. god, he went through so much shit in his life.. he deserved so much better..

February 20th 2019 12:06pm
Saint Murphy high
(TW: SELF HARM.)

The lunch table is quiet today, even candy is quiet. Milo hasn't shown up to school for 5 days now..
"Has Milo texted any of you?"
Resse shakes her head
"Rosy? He must have texted you once.. right?"
Rosy frowns and looks down at her McDonald's hotcakes.
"sorry.. I tried to text him but he hasn't said anything to me either.."
Holy shit.. what is going on!? Last I heard Milo slept over at marshals house for Valentine's Day, when he forgot his phone at his house and went to go back for it, he found marshal making out with a girl he didn't know on the couch he got his phone, broke up with him on the spot, and ran home that freezing night.. I sigh.
"Maybe someone should check on him?"
Candy says looking up from her sketch book
Resse smiles enthusiastically.
"Yes! That's a good idea! Maybe rosy should? I mean you've known Milo the longest.."
"Sure I knew him longer, but Zach understands him the most here and lives the closest to him, I think he should go check.."
"Shit, yeah, you're 100% right rosy, alright Zach, will you go check up on him later?"
"Absolutely."
Rosy sighs in relief.
"Then it's settled, keep us updated okay? If you need me call me and I'll run down."
"I will.."
A chill goes down my spine, why do I have such a bad feeling about this?
...
After school, I bus down to Milos house, quickly make my way to Milos house, he hasn't answered anyone for days.. his mom is never home.. oh god my heart drops, what if he's dead or something!? I run like hell to his house, I don't knock, I burst into the house.
"MILO!"
No answer.
My heart drops and I run up the stairs and burst into his room, the sight I saw is still burnt into my mind to this very day.
Milo was on the floor scampering to pick up bloody tissues that were scattered near his bed.
"Z-Zach..!!"
Milo quickly covers his arm
"you hurt yourself.."
Milo stares at the floor.
"Milo.."
I sat next to him and hugged him tightly.
He hugs me back weakly
...
Milo went to the bathroom and bandaged his arms up with gauze, then sat back next to me.
"Milo.. what's going on? Me and the others have been worried sick about you.."
"I'm sorry, I was sleeping most of the time, my mom took away my phone because I wasn't going to school."
Milo looked exhausted, sweaty, and his hair was a mess..
"Your moms a fucking idiot."
Milo forced out a dry chuckle,
"I guess so."
"You seem thirsty.. I'll get you some water.."
Milo pulls on my hoodie.
"You don't have to, I'm fine."
"Milo you are NOT fine, and I'm here to make sure you're okay, we all care about you dude."
Milo gets choked up for a moment but holds back his tears.
"Thank you, Zach.."
I jog to the kitchen, pour a glass of water then quickly make my way back to Milos room, I hand him the glass of water then pat his head in an attempt lighten the mood a tad bit.
"Talk to me, Milo."
Milo takes a drink of water then hesitates, but he knows there's not really a way out of talking about what happened.
"Marshal cheated on me with some girl, as you know, but afterwards he started going on about how I was 'too lame' for him anyway and that he's 'glad I found out' I wanted to die more than ever after that.. I have never felt so worthless and used in my life.. I loved him so much but he never did back.."
"I'm gonna fucking kill him."
"Please don't.. at least not yet."
Milo says with a small chuckle. I hug Milo as tight as I can.
"Do you know how much you mean do me?"
Milo seems a bit surprised by what I said
"No?"
"You're my best friend.. I don't know what I would do without you, don't let that jerk define your worth! Anything he tells that trio of the other idiots is bullshit too! we all love and care about you Milo, and we're NOT letting that bastard get away with this."
Milo hugs me back tightly and begins to quietly sob into my shoulder.
"It's going to be okay.. I will do anything In my power to keep you safe and happy from him Milo.. consider this a promise."
"Thank you Zach.. I couldn't ask for a better friend.."