The Antiquity of Us (La Fortuna Series #2)

Kabanata 27

Kabanata 27

Princess

I stopped leaning against his chest and stood up straight to meet his eyes. Nang mapagmasdan ko ang mukha niyang may bakas ng sakit at pagsisisi ay halos bumaliktad ang sikmura ko sa habag para sa kaniya. God knows how much I wanted to cease, because deep down, I knew that he was a reasonable man. But couldn't he say anything more than his fucking sorry?

My eyes glistened in a new set of tears. "Why did you do it?"

His chest heaved up and down. The way his irises stroke me like a physical touch told me that he would rather stare at me than actually speak. Mas lalong sumikip  ang dibdib ko nang mapagtantong hindi niya manlang dinedepensahan ang sarili niya.

"Las, why did you do it?" ulit ko sa maliit na boses. "For sure, you have a decent reason, right? Hindi mo naman ako hihingan ng ganoong pabor kung wala, hindi ba?"

Umiwas siya ng tingin at umiling. "I have no decent reasons... It's a stupid request."

"No reasons? Are you scared that I wouldn't understand?" tunog desperada na ako. He gulped and didn't meet my eyes, pouring fuel on my seething heart. "Tangina, ginagawa mo naman akong tanga, e! We've been through a lot together! Ngayon ka pa hindi magpapaliwanag?"

"I'm sorry..."

Humikbi ako. "Why are you being like this? Talagang sorry lang ang masasabi mo? Pati ba sa halikan at yakapan niyo kanina ni Maeve, sorry lang din ang sasabihin mo?"

His eyes widened when he darted them on me. Sarkastiko akong ngumisi na siyang mas nagpalukot ng kaniyang mukha. Remorse and pain plastered on his face as he tried to reach for my hands. Iniwas ko iyon sa kaniya.

"How did you know—"

"I saw it with my own eyes!" Pinalis ko ang mga luhang lumandas sa 'king pisngi. "Ano, wala ka na namang balak sabihin sa 'kin? Why are you always hiding things from me? Hindi mo ba ako mapagkatiwalaan, ha? Am I not worthy of your trust?"

I cackled at myself. Tangina, ang hipokrita ko naman yata? Baka naman ito na ang karma ko sa lahat ng kasinungalingang pinanindigan ko sa mundong 'to? Well, it actually makes sense. Maybe, this is what I deserve and I'm just reaping what I sowed. Naglihim ako kaya 'yon din ang natanggap ko pabalik. 

Oh, the irony.

He shut his eyes painfully. "I'm sorry."

Walang awat na tumulo ang mga luha ko. Talagang hindi niya manlang ginigiit ang mga akusasyon ko? I saw them with my own eyes, but somehow, I hoped that he would reassure me that it was unintentional. Si Maeve ang humalik sa kaniya at nasaktan ako roon, pero maiintindihan ko naman kung magpapaliwanag siya, e! But why isn't he?

"You are hurting me so much right now," wika ko habang tumatango-tango. I pierced my weary eyes through his. "And no, you are not sorry, because if you are, you would tell me why you did what you did. Hindi 'tong harap-harapan mo akong ginagago."

Hindi ko na siya pinagsalita pa at tuluyan nang nagmartsa paalis doon. He had a solemn and pained look on his face before I left him, making my heart throb some more. Pero kahit gusto kong matunaw dahil  mahal ko siya at ayaw ko siyang masaktan, hindi ko siya binalikan kasi totoong nasaktan niya rin ako.

The first time I saw him, my whole system warned me about this night. It warned me that one day, he would make me cry and break me like no one has ever did. He was nothing but danger and hell and more pain. 

Alam na alam ko 'yon kasi siya lang ang taong kayang tignan ang kaluluwa ko at mawari ang laman ng utak ko. He could figure me out effortlessly while on the other hand, I couldn't do the same for him. Kaya sa huli, nabuksan niya na ako't lahat, wala pa rin akong alam tungkol sa kaniya. It's unfair. This love was a fucking losing game.