The Antiquity of Us (La Fortuna Series #2)

Kabanata 41

Kabanata 41

Asshole

Tumigil kami sa gilid ng kalsada. Kaunti lang ang mga taong naglalakad doon dahil sa tumitinding pagpatak ng mga nyebe mula sa kalangitan. Isang linya ng mga lamppost ang nag-ugat sa gilid namin dahilan upang masinagan ng mabuti ang mukha ni Atlas. Kung gaano kalamig at kagalit ang ekspresyon niya ay ganoon din katindi ang lamig na nanunuot sa balat ko. Hinigpitan ko ang scarf ko at saka mas niyakap ang sarili ko. Tila nawala ang kalasingan ko.

"So that was you grieving for your sister's death?" he asked, disdain laced in his voice.

The way he spoke was like he was stating a fact. He was sure. He was too sure. I didn't like that.

"No," mariin kong wika. Ang kasabikang naramdaman ko para sa kaniya ay lumipad palabas ng bintana. "That was me having a drink with Markus."

He scoffed. "Holding hands, really?"

"Don't judge me for it." Sinuklian ko ang intensidad ng tingin niya. And with a tone etched with mockery, I said, "You don't know anything about grief."

"It's you who don't know anything about grief, Io. You would need someone to be with you throughout this process. Pero anong ginawa mo? Iniwan mo ang nag-iisang taong gustong tumulong sa 'yo."

It was a low blow, because it was true. I've lost a lot of people and by now, I should've been accustomed to the process of healing and grieving and everything in between, but sadly, I wasn't. Because it's different every time. Kailan ba tayo naging handa sa kamatayan o kahit sa kaisipan manlang nito? Death is like expecting rain to come and being devastated by a fucking typhoon afterward. We see it coming, but we never know how hard it's going to hit us.

"Look, there's nothing between me and Markus," I said. "Stop this, okay? Bakit ka ba nandito?"

But he didn't stop. Humakbang siya palapit sa 'kin at inangat ko naman ang tingin ko sa kaniya dahil sa tangkad niya. His cheeks were pink because of the cold and his eyes were lined with exhaustion. Natanto kong marahil ay kararating niya lang dito. I knew he had his ways to look for me if he wanted to. He could ask Mr. Amuesca. He could hire his men. Besides, I wasn't hiding in the first place.

"Alam mo bang buong araw akong naghintay sa lobby ng condo tower mo? You weren't answering my calls and just when I was about to conduct a search operation, I'd see you across the street, arms hooked on Markus. Hinanap ko kayo sa lahat ng malapit na restaurant at nang nakita ko na kayo, 'yon ang matatagpuan ko?"

Pumitik ang kilay ko dahil sa iritasyon. "Anong mali roon?"

"You left me for that guy!" He sounded like a kid which irritated me all the more.

"Ano bang pinagsasabi mo? Hindi ko nga alam na nandito siya, e! Besides, I would rather be with him than deal with your unreasonable ass!" singhal ko dahil totoong sumusobra na siya. I missed him but it didn't mean that he could get away with everything he just said. "I wasn't flirting with him. Bakit ba palagi ka nalang ganiyan? You always think the worst of me!"

"It's not like that," mariing aniya at saka umiling.

"E ano?"

His irises blazed. And for once, there I saw it. Atlas Ysaguirre crumbling down, succumbing to his emotions, leaving his composed self behind.

"It just hurts me when you're happy with other guys because you were never like that with me!" he snapped.

Natagilan ako. Staring at him now was like opening Pandora's box. Minsan, may mga inaabot tayong kapag naabot na natin, napapagtanto nating hindi pala natin 'yun gusto. This was one of those things. Dahil kahit matagal ko na siyang gustong makitang ganito—puro, magulo, totoo—sa wari ko ngayo'y nagsisisi at nahahabag na ako.