Please Take My Hand (A BJA FF)

FML

     I woke up the next morning in my bed. “What the?” I sat up looking around. I was in my pajamas and the boys were nowhere to be found. The cellar! I jumped up and ran downstairs. I stopped immediately in the dining room when I saw my mother drinking coffee looking at the paper. Oh no.

“Good morning darling. Did you have fun last night?” She kept her eyes on the paper.

“Uh yes, I had a lovely time. Where's father?”

“At work. You know every one was so excited about you and Josh, It was great!” She looked up at me and scrunched her eyes. “Jeez go get something healthy to eat in the kitchen. You’re looking a bit worn out.” I nodded and walked through to the kitchen. “And get plenty of vitamin C! Your skin looks dreadful!” She yelled. I rolled my eyes.

“Ruby!” I whispered as I saw her closing the fridge.”

“Oh good morning miss Kendra. Sleep good?” She questioned pouring some orange juice.

“Uh, yeah…. What happened to Billie?” She handed me the glass.

“Oh I sent them home before your mom would see last night.” I let out a breath of relief. “And I Had Jeffery carry you to your room where I put on your pajamas.”

“Thanks.” I smiled sipping from my glass. Jeffery was one of the house butlers.

“Tell me something Kendra… You didn’t do anything stupid did you?” She said in a low voice stepping closer.

“No, we just talked and drank a little.”

“Yeah I saw the empty bottles. I cleaned them up. I just wasn’t sure if you and Billie… You know… I wouldn’t want a repeat of last time.”

“Oh no we didn’t.” I shook my head. At least I don’t think we did. I don’t remember much. I took another sip and I started having flashbacks of us making out and me being on top of him. I remembered the feeling of his hands rubbing up my legs. Oh god we did! I couldn’t let anyone know though. I really hope he brought protection this time. Damn I can’t remember.

   -3 Weeks later-

“Dammit Kendra! Don’t you know how to keep your legs shut!” My mother yelled in rage as I looked to my feet. Yep I was pregnant. Again! “Errrr! Dammit Kendra! What are you trying to do? Destroy our families reputation!?”  I looked up.

“Yes mother that’s exactly what I’m doing.” I said sarcastically. I can’t believe she’d think I was that vain. She shook her head growling. She put her hand to her head and rubbed down her face then put her hands to her side.

“I know how to fix this!”

“I’m not getting an abortion!”

“No, you can go work your slut magic to sleep with Josh and convince him that it’s his baby.”

“Slut magic?! I’ve only slept with one person! By my age you slept around to get to where you are now! Is dad even my real father!?” I got a smack on the mouth for that one. She brushed her hair back out of her face as I put my hand to my face.

“He is your father! And fine I’ll give you a choice. You can either sleep with Josh, get married and have everything, or you can run back to California To that homeless boy who may or may not take you back and struggle everyday for a penny, Because if you chose him you will be cut off and never allowed to return! Now we both know who the better choice is. A baby can’t go through life with their parents struggling trying to find a place to live or eat!” As much as I hate to admit it my mother was right. Josh would be the better choice but I really hated lying, and I’d be living the rest of my life knowing Josh was raising a child who he thought was his but was truly Billie’s. I couldn’t just hide it from Billie either. “Well which is it?”

“I don’t know yet!”

“Well I’ll give you a week to decide! That should be plenty of time. Oh and don’t you dare mention a single thing to anyone!” I shook my head and she stepped away. A week to decide. Would that really be plenty of time? I went to my room and started packing. Either way I choose there was no way I was going to keep Billie in the dark. I grabbed some money and told mom I was going to my friends to spend the weekend. “You better not tell them anything!”

“I won’t” I yelled before shutting the door. I told our driver to take me to the airport. I bought the first ticket to California.

The whole ride there I was thinking of ways to tell Billie. I played out different scenarios in my mind of us raising the baby; one we were struggling, constantly arguing, and one where everything played out perfectly. I then thought of life with Josh. There was only one way it played out; everything would go perfectly. No worrying or struggling. I was getting anxious.

When we finally arrived I was nervous. I grabbed my bags and caught a cab. I told him Billie’s moms address and he drove. When we pulled up I paid him and grabbed my bag. I stepped out and stood at the end of the walk way staring as the house. I remembered old memories and got butterflies in my stomach. Each step I took closer to the porch my heart pounded. I stepped up to the door and set my bag down. I gulped and held my fist up ready to knock. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath then slowly let it out before opening them. I gave three quick knocks and stepped back.

“Just a sec.” I heard someone from inside yell. Oh god this is it! I was so nervous. The door opened. “Oh hi Kendra!” he’s  mother said smiling greeting me. “How are you? I haven’t seen you in a while! Come in!” She said real quickly. I grabbed my bag and stepped in.

“Hi Mrs. Armstrong, I’m good!” I smiled and she gave me a hug. I took my shoes off as she stepped to the kitchen. I followed her and she sat me in a familiar spot.

“Can I get you something to drink?”

“Oh, no thank you.” I smiled.

“So what brings you?” I felt nervous.

“uh… well I’m actually looking for Billie.”

“Oh honey he’ll be back in a bit. He’s out with his girlfriend.” I smiled pretending like that didn’t hurt me.

“Oh Tia?”

“Yes, you know her?”

“Well I’ve heard him speak of her. She seems nice. I just didn’t know they got back together.” I can’t ruin things for him now. She obviously makes him happy if they’re dating again. She looked at me a bit confused. She slowly shook her head.

“Um, noooo.. Sweetie I don’t think they ever broke up.” What? Maybe he didn’t tell her.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah they’ve been going out every other day since they first met 4 months ago.” Are you shitting me! That scum bag! I can’t believe he lied to me like that! He’s such a jerk! I definitely know what my choice is now, but I’m not letting him off that easy! He’s not getting a free ride without me giving him a piece of my mind! He better have a good explanation for all of this! I just looked to his mother and smiled, hiding all the horrible things in mind.