𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞; mattia polibio

004

flashback

in two weeks i start junior year and i literally want it to be over already. i'm already hating it as it is and the freshmen are so fucking annoying, like why the fuck are you stopping in the middle of the hallway, like fuck. lucas and antonio are heading to senior year but they get so annoying when they see me in school, but i love them. sometimes.

lucas: you excited
mia: yeah, where's mom and dad
antonio: grocery shopping
mia: oh

antonio's phone rang and he answered it, his facial expression changed immediately and a tear dropped from his face. he nodded and hung up, i'm worried.

antonio: mom and dad are in the hospital, let's go

my facial expression changed to sadness as i put my af1s on and got in the car, antonio didn't care if he was going too fast. this is somewhat the same feeling i had when my grandma died except these are my parents. i really don't wanna lose them.

the nurse told us where the room was and we ran there, i was really hoping i wasn't gonna lose them.

doctor: are you their kids
lucas: yeah, are they okay
doctor: doctors are still checking on them, just wait out here
antonio: thanks

a couple minutes went by and we were allowed to go in, i went in with my mom by myself, i saw all these cords attached to her and the heart monitor tracking her beats. please don't leave.

mia: hey mom
mom: hi mija
mia: i really hope you don't die
mom: i know mija, you'll be okay if i do tho, you have your brothers and alessya and julia
mia: it isn't the same tho, i need you, don't go
mom: if it's my time, it's my time, you'll be okay
mia: are you sure
mom: yes

my tears were now falling down my face, seeing her in this state was the worst feeling in the world. i held her hand not wanting to let go, we talked about several topics and my brothers wanted to see her.

mia: lucas and antonio are gonna see you
mom: okay, i love you
mia: i love you

i wiped my tears and headed to my dads room, i opened the door and he was in the same state as my mom. we always had a tight relationship and he was always there for me, he was the best.

dad: stop crying, we'll be okay
mia: i hope so
dad: and if not, we'll be there during every accomplishment
mia: don't go
dad: i can't promise anything mia, you know that
mia: i know, i just don't want you leaving
dad: i know mija
mia: i love you papa
dad: i love you too mija

i grabbed the closest chair and held his hand, he was slowly starting to sleep but i wasn't, my eyes were heavy but i just couldn't sleep. if they go, i go with them. the heart monitor stopped beeping and i alerted a doctor immediately, they took me out of the room as they tried waking him up. lucas and antonio sat me down as they spoke to the doctors.

doctor: he didn't make it, i'm sorry

it felt like my heart got ripped from me, he was gone, i couldn't believe it, my dad is gone, dead. i held my face in my hands as i sobbed and sobbed. this couldn't be happening, he was my everything, he was my source of happiness. when something went wrong, he was there to fix it, i hate it here.

they covered up his body as me and my brothers cried watching it happen, i slowly walked over to my moms room and saw her peacefully sleeping. please don't die on me. i left her room and sat with my brothers, if i lose them both, i don't know what i would do.

i woke up to antonio shaking me, this wasn't a dream, my dad was actually gone.

doctor: marias kids correct
mia: y-yeah
doctor: she passed away in her sleep, i'm very sorry

well would you fucking look at that, i lost my fucking mom as well, could this day get any worse. i opened her door and sobbed, all my tears landing on her, her face was pale, her body was hard, she's dead. i can't bring her back, i fucking hate my life.

it's been a few days since my parents passing and i just came back from the funeral, my parents were getting burned so me and my siblings keep their ashes. it was a very hard time for us, i cut myself a couple times hoping i would die but i didn't. i gave up after the tenth one and realized, i wouldn't be dying anytime soon.

antonio: mia, you need to stop cutting
mia: i did, last night
antonio: it's a hard time i know bu-
mia: NO, I MISS THEM ANTONIO
antonio: we all do but they don't wanna see you die right now
mia: just take my life already, i already dealt with 5 deaths so please

i lost my uncle when i was 13, lost my grandma when i was 14, lost my cousin at 14, lost my parents at 15.

antonio: you're not dying mia, so stop
mia: FINE JUST FUCK OFF

i cried myself to sleep, why was this happening to me?

end of flashback

mia: so that's what happened
kai: ig that's why your green eyes are so dark
mia: alessya and julia told me when i started junior year, i told them beforehand and when they saw me, they realized how depressed i got

i fell into a light depression, i wasn't fully depressed, i just showed a few symptoms.

ale: i'm sorry mia
mia: it's fine, i miss them but i know they're happy seeing me back with you guys
alessya: she's so strong
mia: yeah
julia: it's okay mia, here, let's have a sleepover and cheer you up
mia: i'm fine, i just don't looking back at that time of my life
mattia: you actually cut yourself
mia: yeah, i regret it but i just wanted to see them

i softly smiled as i went to my room to change into something more comfortable, i grabbed a red top with black shorts and went downstairs. i saw alessya and ale cuddled up and julia and kairi were, i sat on the two seated couch as mattia sat next to kairi. mattia kept looking at me and i tried so hard not to laugh, it was funny honestly.

julia: scary movie
alessya: yk i hate them julia
julia: get close to alejandro if you get really scared
ale: i'm fine with that
mattia: of course you are

julia put on slenderman and i held onto my blanket, i loved scary movies it's just that sometimes i get scared easily. but overall, i love them. a jump scare happened and alessya screamed, i started laughing, kairi whispered to mattia and mattia punched him. mattia rolled his eyes and walked over to me, fuck off yeah. or not.

mia: yes polibio
mattia: kairi told me to sit here
mia: of course he did
mattia: all of a sudden you like scary movies
mia: oh shut up, i always liked them
mattia: what about last day of freshman year, you were scared
mia: that was freshman year mattia
mattia: you were still scared
mia: shut up and watch the movie
mattia: yes rivera

i smiled as i was jumping inside, i can't like him again, i need a break from relationships and love but mattia makes me happy. he always made me happy but i don't know, i felt his hand on my thigh and i slapped it off. he rested his head on my shoulder and put his hand back, i slapped it off and he put it back. i rolled my eyes and he noticed.

mattia: i'll give you something to roll your eyes for

my cheeks heated up immediately as i tried holding in my laughter, i'm positive he's horny right now. don't fall for him mia, just don't.