Dealing with my Demons

Chapter 3 - Safety in her arms

I collapsed into her and began bawling into her shoulder. "Thank you... So much."

"It's gonna be ok. You are gonna be ok. I'll be here for you" She repeated those words softly, patting my back until I started to feel a bit better.

Her arms were warm, comforting and most of all safe.

She led me back to the table softly rubbing my head and reassuring me that things would be ok. My head was still buried in her shoulder, but my tears were starting to slow down a bit.

Her words were still a blur to me but I knew she was comforting me. I knew I was better like this. I kept my arms wrapped around her and my breathing began to return to normal.

"Deep breaths, Tokoyami, deep breaths. I'm here for you. You're ok." Her voice was so sweet, so comforting, so calm, so... safe. She was the opposite of the girl that started tearing up when I bumped into her less than an hour ago. She was so mature and caring, almost like a mother. But a mother was exactly what I needed then and I was happy I had one.

My tears started to dry up and I was able to pull myself from her arms and when I saw her face I almost started tearing up again. She was smiling the most comforting smile possible. It reassured that as long as I was with her, I was going to be ok.

"Feeling better?" Tsu asked in a calm, quiet voice. I managed to push out a "Yeah" between my sniffling. Her smile grew wider "I'm glad. I hate seeing people in pain."

"Th.. thank you Tsu" I said managing to put on a smile. "Anytime. I'm here for you ok?" She responded.

"Ok" I said trying to wipe my tears again. "Really though. I appreciate it"

"Of course. That's what friends do." Tsu said, wiping a year from my eye.

Before my heart rate could return to normal I heard my name being called from across the room.

"Tokoyami!!" I recognized that voice but at the same time it was different from what I knew.

My teacher marched up to me, clearly upset. "What did you do to Shinso!"

"I-I'm sorry! He was teasing me and I got mad and I pushed him. I just wanted him to get out of my face, I didn't mean to hurt him!" I tried to explain.

But it was no use. "He could have hurt his head! He could have snapped his neck! HE COULD HAVE DIED!!" She yelled.

Not having fully recovered from pushing him in the first place I began to tear up again. I could have killed him. I could have killed my friend over a joke.

She plopped me back in my chair. "You are in very big trouble young man! You are not to leave that chair for the rest of the day."

"But... But what about recess?" I stuttered out. "To HELL with recess" she snapped, earning a gasp from the couple of kids who knew what that word meant. She stomped back off to her desk to return to Shinso who was still sniffling.

I sat there stunned, broken, unmoving, still trying to process what had just happened. I came back to reality when Tsu embraced me. I began sobbing into her shoulder again.

My tears had soon dried up but that didn't stop me from crying. It didn't stop the rapid, uneven breathing. It certainly didn't stop the pain in my heart. I did the only thing I could do. I hugged her, knowing that as long as she was here, I was safe.

I lost track of time. It felt like forever, but also instantaneous. When I looked up I saw the class, lined up for lunch heading out the door.

"Did you bring your lunch?" Tsu asked. I was still too mentally numb from my emotions. I couldn't speak so I just shook my head. "Here, I'll grab mine. We can share it."