𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 ↷ taelice

stupor.

「 XXXIX 」

"in another life, i would be your girl"
- katy perry, the one that got away

lisa's pov

I rushed to the back of the bar and looked around frantically. It was so eerily quiet and I felt so perturbed but I have to help him. By him, I mean Taehyung. My ex.

It wasn't even long ago since we broke up. Only four days have passed, and yet here I am now, coming to help him at his beck and call. Technically, he didn't actually ask for my help.

Before I could fall asleep, my phone buzzed beside me, signaling that someone was calling me. The number was familiar but I didn't think much of it and picked up. "Yeoboseyo?" I asked sleepily. "Lisa?" This voice... It's him, isn't it? "Taehyung?" Why would he be calling in the middle of the night? They were over already, both of them were well aware. "Lisa I still love you. I'm sorry.... come back," It sounded like he was just crying and it made me sit up in my bed. There was a slur in his voice I didn't recognize as normal either. In any other situation, I would have hung up on him, but I had an inkling that he was in danger.

"Tae- I mean Taehyung, are you drunk?" I sat up in my bed and put it on speaker, getting dressed as fast as I could. "Huh? I'm at a bar... I think it's the one near my place," He answered, his voice sounding more and more distant. Please don't fall asleep. I picked up my phone again after grabbing my hoodie. "Taehyung I need you to listen to me. Stay where you are, okay? I'm coming to get you,"

So here I am now, trying to find him in the middle of the night. "Where are you?" I murmured under my breath. It was freezing cold outside but it hadn't started snowing here yet. I turned the corner that led to the other side of the bar- the one opposite to the parking lot- and spotted someone laying against the wall with their legs splayed out in front of them. Please, please be him, I thought and approached the figure with caution. The area we were in was dark, the only source of light being the street lamp that stood farther to the person's right, across the road. I was able to make out Taehyung's face a few feet away and ran beside him, an unexplainable relief washing through me.

He was so drunk, and unruly, nothing like the Taehyung I knew. His hair stuck to the side of his face because of his sweat and after pressing my hand to his forehead, I came to the conclusion that he had a high fever. Why was he drinking if he was sick? Taehyung was dressed plainly, with a white shirt and sweatpants, but I know the cold still must've taken a toll on his fever. "Lisa?" I looked up at his face and made eye contact with him. His eyes were filled with pain. "You came," He whispered, a small smile gracing his lips. It was short-lived however, because his eyes closed shut and he fainted right after.

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time skip
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I awoke to the sound of footsteps coming from my kitchen. Rubbing my eyes, I sat up and remembered last night's activities. All I have to say is, it isn't easy dragging a full-grown man to your car, especially when he's passed out and can't hold himself up.

I checked the time on my phone, 12:30 pm. Taehyung's probably the one walking around in the kitchen. I've grown accustomed to it and I hated it. I hated the fact that I couldn't get rid of him so easily. He was everywhere even after we broke up. His scent lingers on my bedsheets. His toothbrush is still in the cup in my bathroom. His sleeping mask hung on the hook next to my bed, right beside mine. His coffee mug is still in the kitchen, the one that was matching with my own mug.

It's difficult to get rid of someone from your life, especially when you weren't ever expecting to lose them.

For the past few days, I've been crying randomly, no matter what time it was or where I was at the moment. All the memories come flooding back all the time without warning. I don't really have active friends that I can just visit and talk to about this in person. Jisoo, Jennie, and Chaeyoung all have jobs and live at least a town away.

I walked into the kitchen and wasn't even surprised to see him there, cooking up breakfast. It felt so normal, but I knew it was wrong. "You're awake," He smiled at me briefly and continued cracking some eggs. "Thank you for last night. This is the only way I can repay you. Oh, and I've packed up all my stuff so you don't have to," He said nonchalantly. "Your sleeping mask." I replied bluntly. "Oh yeah, I was supposed to take it but you were still sleeping and I didn't want to disturb you," He explained, moving around my kitchen so effortlessly because he knew where everything was.

"Why are you doing this?" I confronted and he turned to me.

"To repay-"

"Why are you acting like nothing happened?" I asked, keeping a straight face.

"Lisa listen-"

"No, Taehyung. You need to listen. Please, I don't want anything to do with you anymore. Because where did I go wrong? Where did I lack? I tried to be the best girl for you but you just aren't satisfied aren't you? So you cheat. I'm never enough for you, aren't I?" As emotionless as I willed myself to look, so many emotions were swirling in my head. I wanted to sob. I wanted to break down. I wanted to scream.

"I still love you Lisa. I really do-"

"If you really loved me enough, you wouldn't have cheated on me. We both know that. The funny thing is, I genuinely loved you." I paused to laugh ironically. "I really really did. And I thought you loved me just as much too. The biggest mistake I've ever made in my entire life."

"Lisa..."

"Taehyung just leave please. I only took you in because I still don't want you to die out there, even after everything you've done to me. Let's just say goodbye."