Surrender (JackSepticEye x Reader)

Forty-Eight

He immediately pulled out, taking out the key to the handcuffs and unlocking your wrists. Your dom brought you upright, murmuring softly. "You're all right, kitten. Go ahead and put your clothes back on, we can finish the lesson like normal, okay?" He took your face and kissed the space between your eyes before you stooped down, putting your clothes back on with shaking hands.

The tears would not stop.

He turned back to the class after fixing his own clothing and setting your desk back where it belonged. "Now, as you may already be able to tell, all doms use a safeword for safety reasons. If at any time the sub feels uncomfortable or is not enjoying the lesson, they use the safeword and everything stops." He smiled a little bit at you. "She used my safeword, so we stopped. It's that simple."

For the remainder of the lesson you had your head down in your arms on the desk, crying silently. You had the feeling that if he were to put anything about BDSM on a future quiz for the class, that you would pass, so you weren't concerned about his damned lesson that day.

Why... why would he do that? And why couldn't I go through with what he wanted? I've never used the safeword before...!

After class Seán approached you again, kneeling beside your seat and taking one of your hands into his. "How are you feeling, kitten?"

"Humiliated," you wailed, bursting into a fresh wave of tears before you could stop them.

He gently pulled you out of your seat and into his arms. "I know, kitten. I know. I'm sorry. I have to consistently test your limits."

You cried against his shoulder for you didn't know how long. Eventually he pried you off of him and wiped your tears. "I'm still proud of you. You remembered my safeword, and you did very, very well." You sure as fuck didn't feel like you did well, that was for certain. "Now talk to me. Why did you use it?"

"I w-was... s-so embarrassed, I c-couldn't... I couldn't..." Your face broke and your dom pulled you back into his arms.

"Okay, okay. It's okay. It's over. Let it out, kitten." He pressed gentle kisses to your neck as you sobbed on his shoulder once more. "I'm still proud of you, you handled it very well. Public lessons are something we're just going to have to get used to. Okay?"

You weren't so sure you wanted to be used to them. You felt terrible, not wanting all those stares on you. How could you enjoy a lesson, knowing that other people were watching? Classmates, no less?

~☆~

"Are you all right? You look like you've been crying."

Of course Mark noticed. You didn't even try to make eye contact with him; it would have only confirmed his statement. "Shit happens," you murmured, getting up from your desk and gathering your things.

His hand grabbed your shoulder in a friendly manner, squeezing it a little. "Hey. You know you can still talk to me, right? Don't let what happened at the party deter you."

You gnawed at your lower lip, still not looking into his face. "It's nothing. Just a minor hiccup with my lesson this morning."

"Minor? You wouldn't have been crying if it had been minor, you know. Was it school-related, or... another sort of lesson?"

Damn him and his prying questions. In a fit of bad humor you finally looked up at him, frowning, snapping at him. "Both, all right? It was fucking both! He decided to fuck me in front of the entire fucking class!" Abruptly you burst into tears, making him flinch away for just a moment. But Mark brought you close and you cried on his shoulder. "I've never used the safeword before, until today..." you managed to choke out.

He rubbed your back with his hand, speaking softly. "There's nothing wrong with using the safeword. That's why they exist."

"I f-feel like a failure..." you added, overcome with a fresh wave of sobs.

"Don't. They exist for a purpose. If you weren't enjoying the lesson, then you weren't enjoying it. That's not your fault. You're a good sub," he reassured you, pulling away and wiping your tears. "If you're so worried about it, why not talk to him about it? Hmm? Let him reassure you that you've done nothing wrong and that you aren't a failure. Cause it doesn't mean the same coming from me."

He was right, of course, and you nodded, taking a step back to wipe your tears away freely. But a soft throat-clearing made you jump, and you whipped around to find Stephanie standing there with a frown of her own on her face. "What happened? Everything okay?" she asked quietly, offering her own hug.

You shook your head but accepted the hug, and she held you tightly. "It's a long story," you murmured, "and I'll tell you later if you want. Right now I've gotta go," you added, pulling away from her and leaving the classroom. All you could do was trust that Mark would not go and tell her himself, even if she was curious. It would be better if you told her yourself, especially now that the two of you were subs. At least you had that much in common.

You made your way towards Seán's office, still teary-eyed, and getting worse the closer you got. By the time you knocked at his office door you had to physically will yourself not to start crying again. As he opened the door, he said nothing, pulling you inside and shutting the door.

Once there he held you for you didn't know how long. Your dom stroked your hair and murmured into your ear. "I'm still proud of you."