Surrender (JackSepticEye x Reader)

Fifty-Eight

You lingered after you managed to finish the test, watching all of the other students get up and leave at a trickle, one at a time. When Stephanie was finished she smiled at you as she got up, and whispered "Good luck" as she passed you by.

Soon enough you were the only one remaining. You stood up on legs that threatened to buckle beneath you, completed test in hand as you handed it to your professor.

Has it really been that long that I almost don't consider him my teacher anymore...?

He had his eyes closed, head resting on one hand, but his baby blue eyes opened up as you approached with the test. He took it from you gingerly, and didn't really seem all that surprised when you just stood there in front of him. "You know I wasn't lying, don't you? About my headache. It's killing me."

"I'm... sir, I'm sorry. About... about everything. About your headache, about what happened during our lesson--"

He held up the hand that wasn't supporting his head to silence you. "We need to talk, but here is not the place to do it. After your last class, come to my office. We have a lot to discuss." He gathered up all the tests and shoved then haphazardly into his briefcase, shutting and locking it. "Maybe by then I'll be over this hangover..." he added, walking away and out of the class.

~☆~

Hangover? He was drinking? Was it my fault, am I the reason he was?

The thought brought more tears to your eyes as you stood in the middle of the otherwise empty classroom. Slowly you gathered up your belongings, walking at a snail's pace out the door altogether.

You had some time to kill in between classes, but you had no energy or motivation to go and get some food or something. In the end you found yourself in a lounging area for other students, watching others come and go.

What will he say? That he doesn't want me as his sub anymore? Did I fuck up that badly? What will I do without...?

It was at that moment in time that you realized you really did run the risk of losing him. All with one simple slap, you had thrown everything away, shown what an awful sub you were to him. The safeword, the goddammit safeword! Why couldn't you have used it to begin with?!

You buried your face into your hands, unable to cease your crying. Others simply glanced over at you but left you alone. When it was time for you to get up, you almost couldn't do it, as weak as you were.

Somehow, some way, you managed to survive through Mark's class without crying in front of everyone. Perhaps you were cried out. Or perhaps you were terrified at the prospect of what was to come momentarily.

Either way it was you who approached the professor, instead of the other way around. He seemed only mildly surprised, but smiled despite it. "Is there something wrong?" he asked you gently.

You shook your head, but then nodded immediately after. "I... M-Mark, what would you do if... if your sub struck you?"

He sat back in thought. "If my sub struck me? Is this an accident? Or is it intentional?"

You lowered your head slightly, looking elsewhere. Anywhere but his warm brown eyes. You had the feeling that he already knew. "At the moment, intentional."

He went silent for a bit, watching you avoiding his gaze. "Well, if my sub ever hit me, God forbid she does, I would punish her. Make the punishment fit the crime. It's only fair, right?" You nodded but continued not to look directly at him. "I already know. I spent the day with him yesterday to calm him down."

Calm him down? That grabbed your attention in a way you hadn't realized, and you looked up at Mark with a worried expression. "Was he..."

"Furious. Emotional. He was a lot of things yesterday; he has a tendency to bottle them up and hide them from the public eye. Even from his sub." He watched your reaction before he went on. "I never in a million years would have guessed that you would hit him."

You flinched back. "I don't want a lecture, I feel terrible enough about it as it is..." you murmured testily.

"Public lessons are difficult to get used to, yes. And I don't blame you one bit for freaking out. But the safeword should have been the first thing to come out of your mouth."

"I said I didn't want a fucking lecture!" you screamed, snatching up your things and running out of the class, tears pricking at your eyes. God, all the tears that you had shed lately! They were exhausting!

~☆~

You made your way to your dom's office without realizing it; perhaps it was ingrained into your system, the path to take. But you hesitated nonetheless, hand up in the air in the position to knock at his closed door.

Before you could even think to knock it opened, and out stepped Stephanie. Something mad within you wanted to lash out at her; how dare she go behind your back and talk to your dom! She had her own! But she smiled gently at you, and the urge to rip out her throat was settled for the time being. She stepped around you and left you in the threshold; her hands were the ones to gently push you into the office, startling you.

Seán watched you make your way to the chair that sat in front of his desk, his face impassive and difficult to get a read on. Your entire body felt fragile, as though one wrong movement or word would shatter you into a million jagged pieces.

"I've done a lot of thinking this weekend," he began softly, his blue eyes never tearing away from your own. If they had been bloodshot from his hangover that morning, there was no sign of it now.

You swallowed hard, mouth working over in your attempt to speak. "S-sir, I--"

He held up a hand to silence you like he had that morning. "I know. You're sorry for doing what you did. But what's done is done and neither of us can change the past." Then he sighed through his nose. "I think we need a break."