Surrender (JackSepticEye x Reader)

Fifty-Nine

Your heart sank low, all the way to the floor, or at least that was how it felt. "S-sir, please... please don't do this..."

Seán frowned and turned away from you partially. "What you did is... I can't even begin to explain how it made me feel. I feel like I've failed as a dom, like I made the wrong decision. No sub has ever struck me."

Your hands gripped the chair so tightly they shook, nails digging into the fabric of the armrests. "S-sir... I can't..." you began, but the look on his face stopped you dead.

"I can't stand to even look at you right now, much less speak to you. You are making me question everything that I have ever done with this lifestyle. Are you happy? Are you pleased with yourself?"

You burst into tears, hot and sudden, actually making him flinch, but only just barely. It was still enough to catch, and you buried your face into your hands. "No!" you wailed, voice muffled. "I'm not happy! I'm so miserable!"

"Good. I don't want to see you right now, now get out," he spat out at you.

"Sir, please--"

He snatched his keyboard and yanked it free, throwing it against the wall to the side and making you shriek a little. "I said get the fuck out! I can't stand to look at you!"

You ran. You grabbed your things and simply ran out; what other choice did you have? You ran down the hallway, nearly empty, nearly blinded by tears.

It was worse than you could have ever imagined it.

~☆~

The remainder of the day went by in a blur of tears and misery. You didn't bother even trying to message your dom- if you could even still call him that.

You debated on skipping school the next day, but as you showered that morning, face breaking, you realized: you had no choice but to move on. Right? What else could you have done? He wasn't about to listen to you anytime soon; he needed to be left alone.

So you would have to get used to his silent treatment.

I don't think I can... no... I just... I just want him back. But... the way he screamed at me, it was like he'd never forgive me...

~☆~

"Oh my God, are you okay? You look terrible..." Steph's ever so keen sense of observation was at peak performance that morning, and you struggled not to frown.

"I'm fine," you lied. But even you weren't convinced.

"I know you're lying. I'm guessing that talking to Professor McLoughlin didn't help or anything...?"

You lowered your head a little without realizing it. "Do you still have a crush on him?"

That seemed to throw her for a loop. "What? Why would you even ask that?"

"Do you or do you not still have a fucking crush on him?!" you cried out, stopping in your tracks in the middle of the hallway.

"I don't know!" she cried back, taking a step away from you. "Why are you asking? I mean, I still find him really fucking hot, sure, but..."

"Fine." You dropped your things right there on the tiled floor and removed your beautiful white collar, shoving it into her hands. "You want him? You can have him." Spinning on your heel, you snatched your belongings back up and ran, as far as your legs would carry you, away from Stephanie, from the classroom you had been headed towards.

Away from your dom.

~☆~

It's for the best... this is definitely for the best... Now he doesn't have to deal with a bad decision like me again...

You ended up in the parking lot as you ran, all the way back to your car. You supposed that that was where you were going to go all along: home. Back home, away from the rest of the world, where you didn't have to worry about possibly lashing out at your dom again.

No! He's not my dom anymore! I saw to that; I'm sure Steph is a better sub than I am, anyways, they can be happy together...

But then why did you feel like everything was falling apart around you? Now you had no one to talk to, not really. Unless...

You did end up going to school the next day, heart pounding in your throat. It was raw and sore from crying and screaming the night prior. The crying you expected; the screams had thrown you for a loop.

You kept your eyes cast down as you entered the psych class, terrified of who might already be there. But you were early; not even your dom-

Not even your professor had shown up.

You told yourself again and again that what you had done was for the best. You no longer wanted to burden Seán with yourself; this way he could find a new sub and be happy.

What you had not anticipated was what came next.

Stephanie meandered into the class after you, glancing around to see that you were the only other student before she sat her things down on her desk. Then she laid your collar in front of you. "Here," she murmured. "Take it back. I don't want it."

That made your stomach churn. "Steph, I gave it to you for a reason. I want you and him to be in a dom/sub relationship. You won't go hitting him like I did."

"Excuse me?" Her tone startled you so much that you looked up into her face. "Did you not even consider the fact that I like where I am now? That I actually like being with Mark? Whatever it is you're trying to do, I think you and your dom need to settle it and soon."