Surrender (JackSepticEye x Reader)

Forty-Nine

You pulled back, wiping your face. "How can you be proud of me still? I couldn't make it through a simple lesson!" you cried out in protest. "I feel like such a fucking failure..."

He frowned a good deal, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "Kitten, safewords have always been important when it comes to lessons. The fact that you've lasted this long without using it is surprising. Most subs use it quite frequently, especially at first." He reached out and stroked your cheek in a tender manner. "Kitten. Have you been avoiding using the safeword all this time for my sake, or was this truly the first time you felt uncomfortable?"

You swallowed hard, not wanting to admit it. "It... it's the first time," you lied. Then you sighed and shook your head, backtracking. "No, that's not true... the... the dinner party. I... I didn't really enjoy it as much as I thought I was going to."

His eyebrows went up. "Really. But you didn't use the safeword. No one told me if you had."

"I'm sorry," you spoke hurriedly, hoping he would not be upset with you.

"Why are you sorry? Kitten..." Seán sighed and walked to his desk, rubbing his face vigorously with his hands. "The whole point of the safeword is to tell me you aren't enjoying something. So that I do not hurt you in some way. But it's more than just physical. If you're not enjoying something but you don't use my safeword, then it ruins any future with that particular lesson. Or, in this case, a party. It means that if I want to throw another one, I may not be able to because your views on it have been shed in a poor light. Do you understand?"

You shook your head and sat down in the nearby chair, hands clenched together. "I don't... I'm sorry, sir..."

"Kitten, you didn't enjoy my party. And you clearly do not like the idea of them now, do you?"

"I'm not sure."

Seán hung his head for a moment. "Damn it... there's a fucking reason for the safeword. What part of the party did you not like?"

Biting at your lip, you realized that you could not look him in the eye. But he would not have liked that, so you glanced up sheepishly. "The... parts with other people," you said at last.

He rubbed his chin in thought. "So... you didn't like being with someone other than me, is that it?" You nodded, and your dom went on. "And you most certainly did not like the public lesson earlier this morning. Well, kitten, I suppose I know what we need to work on. Because I do intend to throw more parties in the future, and I still want you to be a part of them." He laid his hands on your shoulders and kissed the space between your eyes. "But I want you to enjoy them. So this will take some work."

~☆~

That night brought a text, from Stephanie. [What happened earlier? Was it about the lesson? Mark says you used the safeword for the first time?]

You sighed through your nose as you responded. [Yeah. It's been well over a month now and that was the first time I've used his safeword. But I couldn't go through with it! I couldn't stand there and just let him fuck me in front of everyone!]

There was a long moment's pause before you got a response back. [I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty shocked at it, myself. Are you okay, though? Do you need me to come over for a hug or something?]

That brought a smile to your face. [It's sweet, but no, right now I'm all right. He says it's just something we need to work on. But I'm scared that I'll never be used to doing stuff in public.]

Another pause. [Then tell him that. Don't just suck it up and deal with it.]

She was right, of course. [I'll keep it in mind. Thanks, Steph.]

[Anytime. :] ]

You sighed and set your phone aside, wanting to try and get some sleep, but it buzzed once more with another text. This time it turned out to be from your dom. [Are you asleep? Have I caught you at a bad time?]

[No, sir, I'm not asleep yet.]

[Good. I'll have a new toy for you to try out tomorrow. Come in a little early so we can test it out.]

A new toy you knew you would be able to handle. You smiled a little bit, realizing that things were slowly getting back to normal. [All right, I will.]

[Goodnight, kitten.]

~☆~

The next day you realized that you were actually excited for the prospect of a new toy. You all but ran into the classroom, smiling wide upon seeing your professor standing there at the desk. There was a box placed upon it; it seemed small. "Sir? What kind of toy is that?"

Smiling back at you, your dom handed you the box. Inside it was, well... it was very clearly a toy, shaped a bit like a U. You obviously could not fathom where it was supposed to go, but you knew it was still a sex toy.

Seán pointed at one end of it. "This part goes inside of you, kitten. The other part will rest at your clitoris. It's a neat little vibrator that stays inside of you. Do you want to test it out?" When you nodded his smile widened, taking it out of the box and handing it to you. "You came awfully early, class doesn't start for an hour. Why don't you slip that in and let me watch you come off of it, hmm?"

"Yes, sir."