Ashton's POV (yesterday)
When I need to think, or rather be alone to drown in my thoughts, I find peace in my backyard. Considering our little house is in the middle of nowhere, and my family was inside, I had a nice bit of solitude. I sat on the splintery deck, my feet resting on the burnt-to-a-crisp grass, just staring out at our backyard of leveled ground and nothingness.
The backdoor opened, the deck creaking as someone walked over to me. "Why is Mr. Sunshine all gloomy?" Lauren takes a seat next to me.
"Go away," I grumble, resting my head against the railing.
"Is Maddie still mad at you?" She nudges my side knowingly.
"I don't know, I haven't talked to her," I shrug truthfully.
"Then call her and make it better," Lauren states as if this was the obvious solution. Well, maybe it was.
"I doubt she really cares anymore anyway," I try to turn away from Lauren so she goes away. She doesn't.
"What if she does and you are just making this all worse?" She teases me, but stops when she sees my face. "All I am saying is you know what is going to happen Ash."
"No I don't," I grumble, crossing my arms.
Lauren tells me what I already know, "Luke is going to apologize, Maddie will swoon, and they will be back together until something tragic happens again."
I huff, knowing she is right. "And I will still just be the bestfriend who waits around to pick up the pieces."
"Maybe if you just told her you love her that wouldn't happen," she says quietly. I can feel her stare on me.
"I don't love her."
"Whatever you say," Lauren hums.
"You are like 13, you don't get it," I push her away. Its was more complicated than that.
"So, you are 19 and you obviously don't get it either," she rolls her eyes, getting up from the porch and going back inside, leaving me alone in my thoughts.
She didn't get it. I couldn't just put years worth of best-friendship at stake when I already know Maddie doesn't feel the same way. It would just be pure awkward embarrassment.
I find it easier to do it my way. Ignore my thoughts, suppress my feelings, act normal, be a good friend. I figure if I keep pushing my feelings away maybe one day they won't return.
When did this even happen? One day I thought of Maddie as my sister and the next I had fallen hard on my face.
I sat there, trying to figure out when the hell this happened. Eventually I narrowed it down to one night, tugging my hair in frustration at the mere remembrance.
-
The most romanticized gesture is the moment when one falls in love. The moment when someone's smile becomes a source of your happiness, when someone's touch is all you desire, spreading a numbing tingle throughout your veins. This gesture, characterized by a significant moment, is a story to hold on to and embellish for your grandchildren one day. At least that is what they say.
The strength of love is not determined by the significance of this moment because sometimes the strongest love is not returned. Sometimes the strongest love is seen only from one eye. Sometimes the strongest love is silent love.
Sometimes the moment when you realize your heart has changed its course is just an average, unromantic, unembellished moment.
-(Flashback: somewhere within the weeks after Luke broke up with Maddie when they were still in California - around chapter 2.5)
Ashton's POV
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Belief
Fanfiction{A 5sos story} We spend our lives sorting out our beliefs. Belief leads to high hopes, it leads to dreams, it leads to certainty in the uncertain. Too much belief leads to brokenness. There are people who come along and make you believe that 'belief...