Inside my mind

unchangeable

Your pov
I sat crying on my bed with the door locked and the curtains closed. I missed dinner that night... Didn't feel like eating at all.

I know it's stupid. Crying over a boy who broke my heart like 3 times... It really is. I never want to see that ass again. And I mean it this time.

I didn't want to see him, look at him. Be near him even. He can go fuck himself. I don't care if I'm being harsh anymore. He deserves it for what he did to me.

You wanna know what I think honestly? I wish I never came here in the first place. He's made my time here a living hell.

I can't do anything anymore without wondering if he could ever love me back. I don't want to love him but he's just always stuck in my mind. A permanent image.

A Polaroid in my mind. One I didn't want. I really didn't want it and yet I couldn't bring myself to throw it out.

I sat with a tear stained face staring at my shoes before looking up at the dark wall. I didn't want to be here anymore.

And I think I could honestly make myself leave right now right here. But I couldn't right? Because of my mom. I couldn't just leave her here.

I don't know what to do so I stand up and pace back and forth before getting startled at the sound of knocking at my door.

I open it slowly not wanting to know who was behind. And it was Miles. Fucking dick.

"What do you want?" I asked sternly. "I wanted to talk about today..." "What's there to talk about? You broke my heart. Again by the way and now you want to convince me that your still a good guy?! No! Fuck you Miles! Fuck you"

I was so angry. I probably didn't mean some of it but it had already been said so now I'm screwed. "I- I broke your heart? Again?" I looked down and sighed.

"Yes Miles. Ok, I love you. Always have the minute I saw you, I just didn't want to admit it. And I thought we were going strong until we had that fight earlier that made me feel like shit and completely worthless to this world..."

"Y/n..." "Don't Miles. You should go before you hurt me more. Or I say something that I regret more then ever" "Y/n. Please don't do this..." "Miles I'm sorry... I don't want to get hurt again anymore" I said quietly before closing the door.

I didn't want to shit him out. And yet it was my heart that told me to. I really shouldn't be listening to it still.

And yet it makes more sense then listening to my head because my head says to run far away from here and never see him again.

And I don't want to do that. I couldn't do that to him. He looked broken when I just talked to him...

I shouldn't care right? And yet I still do. God I hate this so much. He made my life a living hell the entirety I stayed here and now he wants to apologize?

Everytime he does, I fall for it and he hurts me again. I don't know what to do anymore and I don't think I can take it anymore. He's always around, everywhere I am.

I'm not going to be able to avoid that boy as much as I even wanted to. He'll be everywhere I am. In my mind, next to me, in my dreams and nightmares. He'll be where ever I am because he won't let me go.

And I swear to god. And I'm not kidding when I say this. He's litterally THE devil. Inescapable, handsome, mean, polar and has a terrible temper and I'm pretty sure he has anger issues...
"Heartbroken..."